For Richer, For Poorer

Venezia IT, Mar 23 2023. Many miles and Km from any wedding.

Ultra weddings are a world unto their own. Many are born in the sweaty fever of a finish line proposal, where the swain ambushes his maybe-unsuspecting maid with "will you marry me?"
Gay couples do your own swaps, it's all the same.

Since this is a new world, let's look at likely features!

  • Bride and groom wearing GoPros
  • ultra-celeb livestream voice-over play by play
  • select guests by lottery, others wait-listed
  • team sponsors
  • blow up arch at the altar/finish line
  • chip timed
  • Speculation as to who paces who. I'm sure the competition will be fierce.
  • competing and perhaps complimentary running-themed playlists. All sincere I'm sure, although "White Wedding" and "Let's Pretend We're Married" will appear.
  • Surprise Insta-Bro who jumps up and yells "STAY HARD!!"

Breathless fashion updates: “Bride is wearing a high performance cami top with a UD half-cup balconette hydration vest.“

The prenup will already review mutual Stravas for DNS, DNFs, and other anomalies.

Finally: “If you drop the ring you have to go stand in the surf.”

Did I miss something? Feel free to comment.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Kama-sutra sponsored by Orange Mud?
7:02 PM
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