Mr Trail Safety Speaks!

(notes from the Estate of Dr Quadde, all rights reserved) Further Inquiries Into The Matter Of The Great White Fur-Bearing Freshwater Shark By Roccardo “Dick” Quadde, Rfp, SoQ, AmF. The waiting stack of arcana was irresistible. I began reading at the beginning. This Shark features prominently in the folklore of the indigenous Maeomo-Lipkat peoples: an enigmatic tribe who were regarded as peculiar by their Paiute and Shoshonean neighbors. Consequently little mixing occurred outside of trade. They were linguistic isolates, and spoke a language utterly unlike any other. They left little more than curious petroglyphs in isolated canyons. The first verifiable sighting of the Great White Fur-Bearing Freshwater Shark by a European came on August 25, 1787. Antonio Fuego de Culo y Ruidoso was lost in the High Dorkoliths while looking for a mountain pass that was the most direct route between Mojave and Tulare. His royal charter required him to note "all and divers Fishes, Fowles, Beastes...

(one of an occasional series from the archives of the "Journal for Crypto-Ethnology" Spring 1991) by Dr. Roccardo F. "Dick" Quadde; RfP, SoQ, AmF. The long winter passed uneventfully, a slowly leaking bladder full of inert gas. I was occupied greatly by the continuing investigations into the previous summer’s disastrous expeditions to the lofty and distant Dorkolithic spires. But as the days lengthened and the snows began to retreat from the the alpinid meadows, I became anxious and eager seek a remarkable vanished remnant of Hellmouth’s glory-hole days during the fabled Kaopectatum Boom. The object of this quest was to locate the remains of a startling aeronautical prototype that had literally gone in a blaze of glory from the small mining hamlet of Hellmouth back in the summer of 1909. Wherefore the shift from coprolytica to aeronautica? One typically blustery and cold November afternoon I had been doing research in the Archival Manuscript Section of the He...

"I can tell all of you we are really excited by this, and we'll all have to take our turn with this amazing item." Bucky Kibble III, Llano CA The Famed Eberhardt-Kranken Fabrikant Travel Trailer The EKF is an honored name in luxury recreational vehicles. Originally designed in 1921 and built in Austria, the original EKF Model I was a 4-meter, 2-wheel-duraluminum trailer towed behind a 3-cylinder Opel Kadett. When the trailer was set up, it deployed oleo-strutted shock absorbers, which earned the undying affections of the thousands of honeymooning couples that took to the autobahn. The initials EKF quickly became known as "Eine Kleinischen Fuckshäcke", a moniker the company never fully disowned nor discouraged. The Depression put a major crimp in sales, and the growing war-footing of the Nazi economy siphoned off all production to the recreational arm of the Wehrmacht. By 1944 Allied bombing nearly finished off the company. Immediately after war...

…The Also-Rans Of History! Now You, Your Family, and anyone in E-Z Reach can share The Awesome Majesty that is History's Glorious Pageant™! THE ENIGMATIC RECEDING CHIN DYNASTY Witness in spellbound fascination as we trace the glorious trajectory of this undeservedly obscure civilization. See their humble beginnings, described by famed archeologist Erasmus Binkster as “..Their moveable feast of culture was based on a simple take-out order...” Our travelog will take you in the comfort of your squishy-butt armchair through the turmoil that eventually brought this mighty empire to its knees, when religious zealots passed Draconian decrees against compulsory mastication. From this mournful twilight we can see the emergence of the Metrecal Dervishes as they swept down like thunder from the far-removed Seven-Eleven Parallel. THE MYSTERIOUS LA-Z-BOY TURKS This reclusive and mysterious culture are often confused with their more flamboyant and better-upholstered cousins, the Tuck-and-Rol...