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Showing posts from June 16, 1996

Test Your Meager Knowledge About...

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…The Also-Rans Of History!
Now You, Your Family, and anyone in E-Z Reach can share The Awesome Majesty that is History's Glorious Pageant™!

THE ENIGMATIC RECEDING CHIN DYNASTY
Witness in spellbound fascination as we trace the glorious trajectory of this undeservedly obscure civilization. See their humble beginnings, described by famed archeologist Erasmus Binkster as “..Their moveable feast of culture was based on a simple take-out order...”

Our travelog will take you in the comfort of your squishy-butt armchair through the turmoil that eventually brought this mighty empire to its knees, when religious zealots passed Draconian decrees against compulsory mastication. From this mournful twilight we can see the emergence of the Metrecal Dervishes as they swept down like thunder from the far-removed Seven-Eleven Parallel.

THE MYSTERIOUS LA-Z-BOY TURKS
This reclusive and mysterious culture are often confused with their more flamboyant and better-upholstered cousins, the Tuck-and-Roll Tur…