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Showing posts from September 12, 1999

Mr Trail Safety's Kare-Bear Ultras

In response to rising concern about the Safety Factor In Ultras®™, Mr Trail Safety is happy to announce the creation of Kare-Bear Ultras. Is this Evolution or Kreationism? Ponder that warm fuzzy thought while we happily spool thru the following features: THE RACE COURSES: * HO-Scaled 50k, 50Mile, 100k and 100-mile courses. This HO scale is not what tourists go to Bangkok or Vegas for, but we'll make adjustments *just* for you. Because you are *special* THE COURSES WILL ALL BE: * Gently Rolling * Carpeted in PGA Spec-Compliant Turf * Tree Shaded by Genuine Virgin Old Growth Brazilian Mahogany * Moonlit as Necessary * Marked with Glow Sticks and Really Kute Animated Animated Trolls that grunt and point. THE AID STATIONS WILL STOCK: * Oversize Milkshakes in vanilla only * Yummy Mommy-safe Power Pudding * Tip-proof 80oz Sippie-Kups * NoFat Irradiated Devilled Eggs * Free-Range Not-too-Spicy KimChee * Reclining Ergonomic Wide-Butt Lay-Zee-Boy Doubble-Wide Recliners * Keep