Mr Trail Safety Speaks!

For whatever reason, I seem to show up at BTR after some existential crisis. This year my taper started on March 2, when I found out my brother, while out on a training ride, had been been killed in by a careless driver in the UAE. See for yourself how all your #RunStrong memes hold up for you. So yeah, I did the 30-miler, crossed in 7-something, and am OK with it. Obligatory Running Bullshit: News, Weather and Sports Weather was perfect for running, but harsh for all the hippies in their shorts and Luna sandals, who were shivering in the cold and damp of Thursday night rain. Friday, Saturday and Sunday were brisk, sunny and breezy—a far cry from the scorching heat of the past two years. The 2015 BTR Ultras featured two new events that bracketed the extremes in human potential:  The 0.0 Non-Run, and the 200-mile event. Over 60 people paid $40 to do nothing, noon Saturday. Laugh all you want, that paid for additional shitters for everybody .  The 200 field of 1...

So, tired of those cute lists that people make? Thought you were. Too bad, here's another. SIX AND ONE-HALF REASONS TO BE AN ULTRARUNNER GUY 6. You can piss while you run. 5. You can piss while you walk. 4. You can make pretty patterns while settling the trail dust. 3. If you should find yourself standing and taking a leak, you can hold yr love-gun with one hand, and swill from your bottle with the other. 2. When you're done, you can scratch your ass with the other hand. 1. You can use the same hand that nursed your johnson to troll through the aid-station offerings, and nobody will ever know. Or vice versa. 1/2. After you are all through with any of the previous, and there is still a large hill ahead of you, you can still rifle your sinuses and dislodge those troublesome adobe trail-nuggets. yrs ever devotedly, mr trail safety