Mr Trail Safety Speaks!

Mr Trail Safety in his element. Photo by Andrea Feucht. Don't hold it against her. (original post 2001, post-edits April 25, 2013) Now this is probably what you were waiting for . If you get offended easily, please read to the end of the post and get your money's worth. As Bette Davis once might have said..."Unbunch your panties, it's gonna be a fun ride." At the Friday Nite Pre-race, the BIC Lighters were going off, and runners were throwing their shorts on the stage as Linda and Geri went through the pre-race usual. Amidst the lurking Barking Ducks I could hear "FREE-BIRD!" and so on. The race started on Saturday at 0500. Lucky for me, I was still in bed. Several hours later I woke up and made some French Roast and watched the Japanese fleet sink into the Coral Sea. Bummer for them, I had an aid-station to Krewe. I donned ritual garb of white coveralls, with nary a wrinkle or crinkle, and had a solemn vest with totemistic numbers therein, s...

Howdy! all you Happy UltraKultists and Wallet-sized Poster Children... Highline 50 is coming up fast and furious in your face like the Great One-Eyed Desert Lounge Lizard that it is! As some of you doubtlessly realize, Yrs Truly, Mr Trail Safety is going to be Large and In Charge at Mile 44. For some, this will feel like Mile .44. The decimal point is meaningless. In which case, all of your Libertarian beliefs will have been thoroughly audited to your own satisfaction. Or, you could you be like "Tiny girls, Dancing for Gold..." Me, I'll be John Tesh-like; sitting at a tiny toy piano, banging out "Music Box Dancer" or other greats from the Richard Clayderman ouevre. Well, you can't make an omelette with out breaking an ouevre. More on that later. It is entirely likely that one of the following items will be present: ***Kim Chee ***Chewing Tobacco ***Squeezie Cheez ***30-wt motor oil ***Kessler's Whiskey ***Dog Biscuits ***E-Z Insertable Serrano Chilis ***...