Mr Trail Safety Speaks!

Joshua Tree, April 2000. Dana and Andy getting solar-hammered while I was dragging ass behind.   This is sole remaining evidence of a Truly Lost Weekend.   Ominous Foreshadowing Intro Hanta ho, Truth Seekers. Mark the weekend of 7-9 April on your patriarchal, anthropocentric calendars as the time of this year's Millennial Visionkwest. Our Y2K theme, the brainchild of Mr. Trail Safety, is "Verlangen nach Dekonstruktion" [Appetite for Deconstruction]. Prepare accordingly. More information to follow, as the weekend looms closer. THE MAIN EVENT J-Tree VisionKwest 2: The Unfolding Kontinues [x l] Now is the time that opportunistic and eager scriveners set down for All Time the Truth of What Was, and the What Was Is and Remains... Joshua Tree: The Millenial VisionKwest 2. Searchers for their Krystal Visions®™ got exactly this, and no less. Casino Bingo was the Intellectual Author of the Kwest. Draw Poker was his single-degreed accomplice. And these two Intellectual Morons proce...

After a long absence, the Joshua Tree VisionKwest was reconvened on December 3-4, 2011. It had been almost 7 years since the last Gathering Of The Tribez [And Shit]®™. Were the Ancestor Gods annoyed, or delighted that their prodigal children had returned? As with all family gatherings, we'd have to be deep into the mix before finding out. Casino Bingo and Draw Poker had begun laying plans and cable for this enterprise several months earlier, with Dr Bingo doing the bulk of the heavy cranial gymnastics. A New Route had been chosen, one promising elements of delight from Previous Outings, but with New Sensations. Ostensible Route: Boy Scout -->Big Foot-->California Riding And Hiking Trail. Our original destination was Juniper Flats.  THE DAY IS REVEALED When the rosy-palmered sun arose over the Whine-Dork Sea, a nipply start was enjoyed by the under-dressed scrum, setting epic pace uphill out towards Boy Scout Trail. The bravely-dressed Rebecca V, Lori...

Dr Casino Bingo reads a map in a rising whispering wind. VisionKwest 4.0: "Passion of the Sliced " Joshua Tree National Park 3/27/04 31 miles LEFT-OVERTURE The Fourth Annual VisionKwest Invitational was held this past Saturday, Mar 27 at Joshua Tree. This annual 31 mile run across the rugged, stony landscape of the unique environment had many rewards and surprises for all the participants. The VisionKwest appeared as simultaneous revelation to the two unindicted co-originators, Casino Bingo and Draw Poker in 1999. The then-upcoming Millenium was stimuli to deep thinking on the subject. After consulting sacred texts [Morrison:1967, Page & Plant:1971], and channelling bardic entities, the VisionKwest was born. The course has had many starts, and several finishes, usually a dusty matte. The main route has always involved The California Riding and Hiking Trail. Play your cards right, and there will never be enough shade. There is no freely occurring water on the course. The r...

JT 3.2 Joshua Tree VisionKwest 3.2 .69 CEUs PRE-REQUISITE: Basic Knowledge of VisionKwest Study Materials. ESSENTIAL READING LIST: Shakira, Heidi Klum, Saul Alinsky, Maxim. FACULTY: C Bingo & D Poker Become as One with the Indifferent Vastness of the Sonoran/Colorado Desert Interface as you accompany Professors Casino Bingo & Draw Poker on a select scenic running tour of the Joshua Tree Nat Park. Seminar begins at Boy Scout Trail and ends up at Split Rock. Landmarks encountered along the way include but are not limited to Cap Rock, Geology Tour Road, chubby boy Scout Leaders, sweating German tourists, Pine City, Queen Mine, corpulent RV drivers, Dildo's Cave, and sweating poodles running in circles around parking lots. Runner expected to provide own pickle-brine and chorizo. 1 mtg: Sat Mar 22, 0700. =======SECTION CLOSED======= My hands shook as I read the course description. Where was mention of awards, prize money, permits and short-course PRs???? I hadn't been this n...

J-Tree Lost Weekend Millenial VisionKwest 2.0 "You Want It Bad, You Get it Bad. The Worse You Want It the Worse You get it." Sri Mahand IsFast. As was forecast by 'Casino Bingo' and 'Draw Poker', It Came To Be [r][tm]. This weekend's "J-Tree Millenial VisionKwest" at the Joshua Tree Nat Monument exceeded all boundaries of good taste and methane threshholds.Witness the following from a recovered- memory diary: >Hi Everybody! >Woke up real early, went to work, drank coffee, >talked on phone, went to office burfday partee, then >got in the car and drove 4 hours out to Joshua Tree. Woke up and >filled my bottles and traded split info with all the other >CRS JoggerDaddies I saw out there, including Bucky Kibble III, >We started to run on the Poontang Trail but soon got lost etc etc. He missed the boat. Sad to say, this diarist took a wrong turn, and ran in slow circles around the Big Casino off I-10. This is the same I-10 that pas...