Mr Trail Safety Speaks!

The Dude is a Hipster; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down at Coachella He leadeth me beside the fixies, He restoreth my white-boy soul He loadeth me in the tats of righteousness for His name' sake, and shit Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of norm, I will fear no evil: For thou DJs are with me; Thy 'pod and 5-bars, they comfort me. Thou preparest kombucha before me in the presence of whatever; Thou anointest my head with kale; My sideburns runneth over. Surely PBR and 420 shall follow me all the daze of my life, and I'll hang out in the House of the Hip, whenever.

I've always been big, just the sponsorship got small. Careless Whispers I was recently called an ultra wanna-be  in an acrimonious email exchange.  The accusation came about because a  disgruntled group-member  posted a come-on from The Clymb, which is Mary-Kay Cosmetics for dudes . I busted him, he got bent, and it all went into the weeds from there.  The exchange ended abruptly before I could tell the young hot-head that I would kill to be a wanna-be. I'm an ultra has-been .  This past year was a yard-sale of health issues, which culminated in a sharp POP  coming from my left-calf this past May. I tore something, and it could've been a lot worse. I went from running to a standing stop. Running in any form is off the table until that tear heals, period.  Right now I do a lot of walking, and the diet got leaner because trousers were shrinking.  Of course,  I blame Obama, global warming, and gay immigrant whales. If I had ...

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The Ultrarunner's Low-Archy of Needs The UltraRunner's Low-Archy of Needs was first proposed in 1994 during the D&L Colloquiums which have been studying what motivates brain-dead trail runners. Further research and study [Bingo:1997] suggested that esoteric stimuli-respond cues played a large part in cortical devolution. Further insights on the nature of sonic dissonance/interpretations of Antonio Carlos Jobim's "Girl From Ipanema [Fopak:1999] were seminal in the pursuit of relativity, and shit. Mapping this conceptual terrain had defied space, time and logic. It "must've gotten lost, somewhere down the line", but was recovered, not just waiting for the end of the world.