Mr Trail Safety Speaks!

LardAid process monitor at the Catalytic Lateral Inertial Tower. When life gave me lard, I made LardAid. Ever wanted 3000 calories on tap, ready to burn 70 miles into that 100? Or do you know some kale-n-broccoli smoothie victim that just needs that extra something outta life?  The answer is LardAid®™. Harvested from only the finest vintage ultra-talent, not the cheap filler from obese, sclerotic couch-dwellers.  LardAid is available as injection, vape, or a topical application. LardAid was first revealed by Obscure Mexican Mystic Dr Sevende Sandia in 2005. D&L Holistic Industries chemists isolated the unique properties, and have brought it to you, the conflicted ultra-gearhead.  In full disclosure, here are some possible side-effects of LardAid: Latent memories of Cuban cigars Recollection of fart-jokes Remembering “Letters to Penthouse Editor” A sudden desire for single-malt Scotch Knowing the occult meaning of LS/MFT After LardAid, I was s...

The Dude is a Hipster; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down at Coachella He leadeth me beside the fixies, He restoreth my white-boy soul He loadeth me in the tats of righteousness for His name' sake, and shit Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of norm, I will fear no evil: For thou DJs are with me; Thy 'pod and 5-bars, they comfort me. Thou preparest kombucha before me in the presence of whatever; Thou anointest my head with kale; My sideburns runneth over. Surely PBR and 420 shall follow me all the daze of my life, and I'll hang out in the House of the Hip, whenever.