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Showing posts from June 22, 2014

Adventures In Doctor Land

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Adventures In Doctor LandDuring my last physical, the doctor unwittingly revealed a voodoo truth in the American psyche: the cure for death is always five years away from today. Tomorrow, it will be repeated all over again. In other words, don't do anything out of the ordinary, and you'll live forever. 

I had no idea how much fun it was going to be.  It started with the Self-Assessment Form in the lobby. Sample questions included 'Are you/have you': 
…smoke?…own a gun?…drink? how much?…are you beaten by your partner?…take drugs…unprotected sex?OK fine. I checked all that applied. Shortly I was called in, and was met by Sonia, a cute Latina. She was reading off the list doing follow-up, which were curve-balls. Since I was at bat, I gave it my all.
Did you smoke?
Hell yeah. Years ago. If it burned, I inhaled. Are you joking?

Drugs?
A very long time ago. Good luck finding anything.

Second-hand smoke?
Oh yeah, my stoner neighbor's fine-ass weed. Shit's expensive, I can…

AC100: The First Is The Last

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Wrightwood: Mile ZeroWhen Uncle Hal was finished doing the Saturday pre-training run advisories, he said “Larry’s gonna be sweeping, got anything to add?”

“Yes I do. If I catch up to you, then your training sucks”

Nervous gusts of laughing followed. As it should be.

The herd is being thinned. There are runners who are not prepared, coasting on some kind of delusional fumes. If you haven’t learned that showing up without a real cap, wearing dark clothing, eating crap food and carrying insufficient fluids are not sustainable methods for surviving the early summer heat, you’ve got problems. Insufficient mileage? Got injuries you're not letting heal? That too.

The main pack thundered off into the distance. I’m left with my own unspooling colorful adventure; the business of getting back into shape. And the Acorn Trail pitches straight up for the next two miles up to the PCT.

The last five weeks have been exercises in recovered memories, mental and physical. You can kid yourself, but the tru…