A Pretentious Fat Koach, er, Man regales the unwary with details on stretching.... I'll Dance With My Reefer A few minutes ago I took off my shoes, And balanced against my refrigerator. The calf raises I commenced to start, I'll do it again later. I did 45 slow raises with each leg. I weigh 270 lbs today, [sans clothes]. I fronted my bulk against cool white, The door against my nose. As I slid against the enamel finish, My "he-boobies" a-squeaking, I was glad I was facing front-to-back, Or it would have been butt-hairs I'd been tweaking. I'm glad I can share this with all of you, I know you follow my gist, Because each and every one of you, Are my friends upon the List.