Mr Trail Safety Speaks!

Yes, this is Christmas, but it adequately conveys the pathos of the time. (I'm going to give trails and running a break. Check this nugget from 1989. I remember giving up a decent run for it. Maybe it was worth it, after all). In spring 1989 I got dragged to an Est-seminar by my then-girlfriend, who was big on sincere self-help stuff. Her best friend E. was there, and she's a pleasant personality. There are other hilarious details in this grotesque breakfast clusterfuck that occurred at the Beverly Hills Hotel, but they'll have to wait for another time. The featured attraction to this soggy fuckery was a couple who were pimping their self-help book, something titled "Marriage Work Out" or similar. He was a tall, angular, pleat-fronted, smartass New York Jew. She was a curvy blonde All-American cheerleader betty—blonde, blue eyed, shiksa to the core. So this intellectual jackass stood up on the platform, jingling the change in his pockets, telling us ...

Raymond Chandler needed Scotch to write a dope report. What's holding you back? You're stuck with writing a Race Report that will stun even the most clueless at how fucking Awesome You Really Are.  Here at D&L Industries, we have vast experience in these matters. So go ahead, jump in, and bust a literary nut. You'll be done before lunch.  THE STANDARD NARRATIVE STARTS HERE: I arrived at [race] I met [folks] I ate the big pasta dinner at [locale]  I got up the next morning and took a good long [euphemism]. But this is really not all about you. You're running this to raise awareness for*: a Special Cause a disenfranchised group a donations page astro-turfed altruism #orphaned hash-tags The race began. Things were looking pretty good.  My splits were pretty near the [lotto numbers] I had planned. my iPods weren't in the drop-bags, but I was upbeat At about mile [tbd] I began to  barf blister heat chill hallucinate ...

Leadville CO, 1994 [Post updated Nov 2021]  The Divine Madness running cult of Boulder CO was a hot topic in the mid 90s. I got to see them in action during the 1997 Leadville 100. It had everything lurid for the pre-clickbait era: sex, running, weird diets, and behavioral compulsions. === (4/09) f urther reading on Divine Madness running cult   : This Women's Sport and Fitness articl e on Divine Madness and a reporter's infatuation has really gotten a head of steam up. I read it with considerable interest, and located the following pressure points: a sense of longing and lack of fulfillment on the part of the reporter observations of a group dynamic that are manipulative the curiosity of the reporter about how to do better some editorial tweaking to pump up the text for the non-ultra readership [which is infinity minus 8,000, give or take]. For those who've seen Yo Tizer in action at Leadville and are willing to remember, it's memorable. Watching the "Y...