Mr Trail Safety Speaks!

A nameless truthseeker once wrote: Shouldn't there also be some correlation with acute injuries other than sprains, if the "sweets connection" hypothesis is true? Falls, etc.? EDITED STATISTICAL MASS Wake up! Let's call this statistical dredging what it is: JUNK SCIENCE. I don't know about the rest of the List, [or at least the parts of the List that still have Critical Brain Mass left], but this is meaningless! However, using this seductive analytical model, we can now describe definite links between the following Categories: Men => Hard-Ons Women => Menstrual Cramps Night => Darkness Nipple Chafe => Bloody T-shirts Lets also include links between the remaining categories as well: Ultras => Fatigue Trail Dirt => Brown Socks PowerBars => Funny Little Animals Letters to "Penthouse" => Reality and so on. The point is, ladies and gentlemen; that any sort of linkage can...

Howdy! all you Happy UltraKultists and Wallet-sized Poster Children... Highline 50 is coming up fast and furious in your face like the Great One-Eyed Desert Lounge Lizard that it is! As some of you doubtlessly realize, Yrs Truly, Mr Trail Safety is going to be Large and In Charge at Mile 44. For some, this will feel like Mile .44. The decimal point is meaningless. In which case, all of your Libertarian beliefs will have been thoroughly audited to your own satisfaction. Or, you could you be like "Tiny girls, Dancing for Gold..." Me, I'll be John Tesh-like; sitting at a tiny toy piano, banging out "Music Box Dancer" or other greats from the Richard Clayderman ouevre. Well, you can't make an omelette with out breaking an ouevre. More on that later. It is entirely likely that one of the following items will be present: ***Kim Chee ***Chewing Tobacco ***Squeezie Cheez ***30-wt motor oil ***Kessler's Whiskey ***Dog Biscuits ***E-Z Insertable Serrano Chilis ***...