Trail Runner: The Big Movie
A long time back, a nameless person suggested: To make trail running really popular, it needs to be on tv. Or the subject of a box office smash. Then you'll have all sorts of folks out on the trail. So, to humor the humorless...here's TRAIL-RUNNER: THE MOVIE! *See gelatinous Hollywood club-rats act out some of your favorite trail-running scenes, and lip-sync lame dialog at low elevation! *See Hollywood actresses with suspiciously large breasts fumble for their water-bottles and flashlights in the day-for-night shots! *Hear the hit ballad "Your Love Is Like a Powerbar" as sung by Celine Dion, Britney Spears, Puff Daddy and the Teletubbies! *Look for the 96-can Limited Edition Pepsi Cans of your favorite TRAIL-RUNNER stars in the BurgerSwamps near You! *Watch and wait as MILLIONS OF AMERICANS just like you decide that they would rather eat a pine cone and bark at the moon instead of running a step. *Gloat at your inevitable Darwinian superiority. See, you really can ha