Showing posts from March 7, 2004

Grab A Cadaver

A satiric comment on the current body-part scandal at UCLA. Grab A Cadaver [with no apologies to the Steve Miller Band] I heat up, I can't cool down You got me chopping 'round and 'round 'round and 'round, and 'round it goes At UCLA, with these donated bones Every time I get the call, I pack my bag, I'm roaming the halls Bodies donated--to science and more, There's green to be had--deep in the gore! Grab a Cadaver I wanna reach out and slab ya Slab-a Grab a Cadaver Grab a Cadaver I drive on campus, a monkey paw Sack of tools, a power saw Dead people wait to feel my love I get a grip with a rubber glove. Grab a Cadaver I wanna reach out and slab ya Slab-a Grab a Cadaver Grab a Cadaver I start work, I make a mess I hate working under duress Muscle and tendon, gristle and bone Get paid by the piece by working alone There's magic and romance in those eyes Each one of them goin--to different guys What the hell! the heart is blue Buy the whole s

Tipping mountain bikers

Dearest Phillip S: On the subject of manners and mannerisms I will endeavour to elucidate the answer least appropriate to the strictures of time, space and convention. The Valley Forge trail is not popular with mountain bikers, which limits recreational tipping opportunities for the trail runner. There is something inherently satisfying about the sound of the wind in the trees, birds and squirrels having running feuds, and the fading shrieks of a mountain-biker going over the side of a trail after they've tried to run you down. It's times like these when I feel very close to Nature. How much does one tip mountain bikers? 15%, 20%? Or does one try to tip them all? The percentages refer to the leading-edge velocity [analogous to a helo-rotor] of a Powerbar, rattan cane, or 15" Braunschweiger sausage at the maximum hitting point. Top speeds vary from 125mp to 600mph. Therefore even 15% of either of these speeds striking a witless MTB'er will cause a trajectory disloca