Mr Trail Safety Speaks!

  Date: Thu, 25 May 2000 07:46:29 -0700  Greetings All: It's a brand new Millenium, and ever'body's all set to go to what used to be called "Kamp n0Rm". Well...n0Rm's not in charge any more, but Tradition Is Everything, so here it is, just like last year. ================================ Dear Diary: I think I have Saturday all worked out for the 3000 prospective WS Runners. After I put on a shirt and some really sweat-inspiring stiff Levis, my day begins. 0300: Inspect busses for signs of drug use. 0400: polish glasses. 0500: Throw everything into the WS Command Vehicle, warm up engine. 0530: Load extra pairs of Ice-Pants® and ice-hats onto roof-rack. 0545: Hope that cocky young asshole Boisseree doesn't show up with his loudmouth pal Gassan(?) Gasstown(?) Gasstune(?) from LA. 0600: Begin writing my speech for the morning. Be sure to leave some room for spontaneous applause and shouts of "Stand Up!!!" Play along. Have someone take names and plate...

Buckles in ultras used to be seen mostly in 100-mile races. Occasionally they’d be seen at the 50-mile events. Here in California they were given out in some capacity at the long-gone San Juan Trail 50-Mile and Nugget 50-Mile. In recent years they’ve surfaced at some 50ks and marathons. Now they’ve appeared at the Austin TX 1/2 marathon .  Half-marathon buckle, Austin TX Marathon You’ve gotta be fucking kidding. First, a little history. Finisher b uckles in 100 -milers originated at the Western States 100, as a direct lineage from the Tevis Cup Endurance Ride . Not all 100s had buckles for the post-24 hour to final cut-off finishers. Angeles Crest didn’t offer them to the 24-33hr finishers until 1996, after 1995’s winner Fred Shuffelbarger leaned on RD Ken Hamada, hard. Wasatch had at last count three: sub 24hr, 24- 30 hr, 30 -33hr. I am lucky to have earned the latter two. Because Wasatch is fucking difficult. AWARDS CREEP The buckle was a compelling marker th...

  Lotteries are a reality in 100-mile ultras. RealEndurance. com's Gary Wang summarized that " The sport has grown more than 10x in last 20 years. In 1996, there were 973 runners finished an 100 miler, and there were only 18 100m events." Several images swiped from RealEndurance.com In l ate 2016, Hard Rock 100 was accused by Aaron Denberg; alleging fraud in the raffle system, insider favoritism, and financial hardship by runners who’ve spent $17,000 to get to the starting line. Where he got that $17k number is beyond me. But it seems to fuel a lawsuit animus. Denberg also alleges misconduct in the trail-work process, scree spillage etc. All this is chickenshit compared to what the USFS deals with on a daily basi s; especially in light of a savage in coming Trump Administration and its bla zing l ove for all things logging, mining, fr acking and drilling. Western States has had a lottery since 1981 . The draw is public, and you’re welcome to sit in the Pl...

AC100 2014: Dead Man's Bench, Mile 79 "Running for time, not distance" is an eternal lure for distance training . However, races are still measured in distance. Time on feet is important, but ya gotta get somewhere before cut-off. Otherwise this training mod ality is a self-deluding feedback loop.  I found this out in 1986 when I ran my 1st LA Marathon, training out of Ardy Friedburg's "How to Run Your First Marathon". Years later it appeared on Amazon, and I review ed it, as follows: "How to Run Your First Marathon" is a cruel hoax in a breezy, fun, gosh-its-gonna-be-fun style. I bought this book in 1985, when I was training for my first marathon, Los Angeles 1986. It promised a bunch of things, namely "don't worry too much about distance, run for time". That is perfect barney-bait. By the time I was at 20 miles, I'd begun to hate the day I'd imagined that the author knew what he was talking about. OK, ...

Screenshot of my original Facebook post, for those who need pictures It was bound to happen. The sport has "matured", if that's a proper term; to the point that sub-24 hr WS100 buckles are now being sold by their recipients on ebay. The first incident I heard of was a dealer selling one several years ago. It was recovered by the Western States 100, and it wasn't cheap. Frankly, I'm startled. Yes, its his to do with as he pleases. He could lose it in a card game for that matter. But still. I was under the remarkably quaint impression you just didn't do this kind of thing. Here's Jared Hazen's Facebook post: the ebay listing: Jared's post: show me the money. I caught a lot of flak for posting this. I made it clear that yes, I understood that he could do what he wanted with it. That seemingly overshot many of my critics.  Whatever.  Twitter was especially fun, as a bunch of aliased weenie-boys hid behind their keyboards...

A BRIEF FORWARD , by Dr Erasmus Binkster Canada has given the United States many things. That's because Canadians are naturally generous. For instance: Peter Jennings, Dan Aykroyd, Celine Dion, Wayne Gretzky, France Jolie. And Canadians are so generous, they only want Wayne Gretzky back. We can keep the rest. Including Avril Lavigne.   Avril wrote a song, nay, epic poetry that speaks to the fragrant heart of ultrarunning. No kidding. Here it is. I'm sure you may see yourselve[s] in this dainty ballad.   PS All of you out there with 15 year old daughters can skip the pop-quiz at the end. G8R Boi [with insincere apologies to Avril Lavigne] He was a trail-boy, she was, like, a 10k girl   Can I, like, make it any more obvious?   He was a trail punk, she did road 10ks   Like, What more can I say?   He'd like to do her, she'd never tell,  secretly she wanted his trail-jerky self as well.   But all of her friends hiked up their tights   They h...

The Western States 100 Lottery Anxiety, explained as a diagrammed sentence.  I've tackled the problem of the WS100 Lottery head-on—this explains it all in a logical, calm manner. Let me know if I can be of any further assistance in this matter. In the meantime, don't applaud, just throw money. [File under 'Diagrams and Charts/Weird Science]

Yours truly back in the day when a boy and his friend's shark could run a 100—Wasatch, 1992. CHANGES IN THE ULTRA LANDSCAPE The whole landscape of ultras have changed radically in the last 10 years. The day of RDs putting on races because they love the sport are giving way to corporate-sponsored series, with all attendant features and blemishes. Runners themselves have changed since I got into all this back in 1989. I came from a backcountry ski/travel/mountaineering focus. You self-insert, and self-extract. Runners now reflect the widely suburban culture, that expects free parking, deep swag-bags, medals and probably buckles for their 10ks. Races and their entry requirements are also part of this education process. A 50k is a different order of business than a 50-mile, 100k, and a 100-mile. We have legacy 100s that have not significantly changed their qualification requirements since Day One. Gutting out a 50 on the flats is not likely to ge...

Somewhere out on the WS100 Course, June 1993. Note: This post was originally unleashed to the UltraList on  December 10, 2011 12:11:26 PM PST Not only is this still largely relevant to WS100, but practically every other major 100 in the US, right now. Times have changed, and things need to be rethought. Hello, fun-hogs! Yes, its that time of year when thousands of anxious WS100 hopefuls agonize over whether or not they're in the magic circle. Are they 3-time losers in the 2nd degree? Nominated and EZ-Passed due to Extraordinary Accomplishments or somesuch? Busted out a 50-miler somewhere on a 2% downhill course? Probably not. So lets go down to the killing floor, and go to work. Here are some ideas. COMPLETELY ELIMINATE the 50-mile race requirement. This is dead meat, and has been festering like a zombie with bad manners for way too long. The new baseline qualifier would be a *FIVE prior 100-mile finishes* requirement. Yes, this is harsh. And pay phones are gone foreve...

Geoff Roes in the final 100 yards of his record-setting 15hr 07min Western States 100 win. Finish line at Western States 100, Auburn, CA. June 26 2010. Today I'm going to slit the throat of some sacred cows. First out of the box was this on-line hilarity: "When your runs aren't fun anymore", which cited the following: running not fun tired legs discomfort Oh my. If I'd quit when "running wasn't fun" I'd never get past the 50-yard line. On a downhill course. Meet our constant companion, homeostasis . Briefly, it means "The ability or tendency of an organism or cell to maintain internal equilibrium by adjusting its physiological processes." In plain language: never moving off your comfort zone. Common example: people hovering in a Costco parking lot trying to get the spot closest to the door. It usually involves a lot of ass-time. You're going to have to step out in order to move up. This past weekend I was on a run 20% l...

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