Mr Trail Safety Speaks!

John McCain's birth status has been questioned as legal. Turns out he was born in the Canal Zone, eight months before an obscure statute which clarified matters somewhat. Blah-fucking-blah. The wise electors of this country don't give a shit. But, playing along here... if it turns out that he is ineligible to run, his candidacy is in trouble. There will be Darkness in St Paul. The campaign will pow-wow, while other GOP contenders howl for their chance at glory. All is Uncertain until The Ultimate Solution presents itself. Nominate Cindy. In a stroke, the campaign now has a candidate who is telegenic, coherent, and just plain H-O-T. Furthermore, she has a massive private fortune, and can tell the FERC to shove it. The only downside is that John will have a massive coronary. Next stop, Arlington!

I was summoned for jury duty this past May. I showed up. And here's what transpired: -------------- Greetings, citizen! You'll be amused! amused! that my troll shirt, a pair of wrinkled trou, some beat-up shoes and 3.5 days of whiskers got me off jury duty. As we marched in, we were studied by both attorney teams. There was an abundance of sleek prosperity, poolside tans, expense account lunches. The shoes alone equalled many months rent where I live. The case: a 6 week donnybrook involving Mr & Mrs Mexican Plaintiff suing Toyota and the guy driving their FourRunner on New Year's Eve 2004, after it got hit by a Chevy Lumina. You know, the rolling beer-can. I pleaded Extreme Financial Hardship, [along with 7/8 of the jury panel]. We were recessed. Outside, I was talking to the guy sitting next to me. He'd plead the same. Only he was wearing D&G glasses, had designer jeans, shiny shoes and an oyster chunkette watch. I walked, he didn't. BTW: the costume sugges...