Mr Trail Safety Speaks!

A long time back, in the Golden Age Of the UltraList Salt Wars, a poet declaimed epic poetry as none other could, would, or did. Periodically here at Mr Trail Safety Speaks!, we'll present some of these immortal verses for your learned perusal.   I Am Home: The Poem Long ago and far away, I chanced a home to seek, But knew that it would not be found, On Gottapeepee Creek. I packed it up and headed West And Drove into the westward sun, For I was on a Vision Quest This was My Destiny to Run. I have been here for about 3 weeks, In my dreams for what I’ve yearned, The home I have always seeked, But now the trees are burned. The sylvan rapture is so weighty, The smells, jack rabbits, and the deer But I can rent movies over on I-80 And they’ve got my favorite beer. I’ve looked down on the old South Fork, With fishermen that wait, Who only think of spuds and pork And cutting some more bait. Yes! Here in the tall green pines. How can I fully convince? Only ...

...back in 1980, I was subscribed to the National Review by my elderly grandmother. So I used to come home after working nights, crack open a Heineken, roll a joint, and read it. Surreal. One day an NR survey arrived in the mail. Actually, two. The killer question the GOP had that year was "Who would be the best candidate to defeat Jimmy Carter?" I took a long hit on the joint, and wrote in my answers. Jane Fonda, and Alfredo Stroessner. I'm sure somebody was amused.