Get in, sit down and shut up. A long time back, many dog-years ago in 1997, we rolled out the the UltraWhining Checklist [Golden Showers Beta Version]. But...a whole new crop of contendahs have sprung up, and institutional memory fades. The role of the Internet has radically shifted the Dialog Paradigms ®™. It's now YouR Website-R-U. So here, a somewhat updated Klassic for your delectation. And if you are easily offended, read thru to the bottom and get your money's worth. Ultra-Whining Checklist 3.0 I attribute my DNF(s) to the following reasons: (if there are additional causes, use the back of this form) Ia. Early Years My formative years were dramatically warped by the following: 1) I was dropped on my head as a child. 2) My past life as Cleopatra was miserable. 3) Demons were a regular part of home life. 4) I was allergic to beets. 5) I was tragically misunderstood. 6) My invisible playmates always abandoned me. Good. Now we are getting somewhere.