Triple. Threat. Ultras!


Triple Threat Ultras are presented by SKT RibbonChasers®™ LLC; a wholly owned subsidiary of D&L Holistic Industries in partnership with Offshore Vacuum Party Ltd GmbH, and 401k DNS Holdings Ltd, Cayman Islands. 
 

Idatard 100-Mile

Everyone is a winner here! You do the math! BYO helmet.

The Körnhole 100

Based on the classic Kornhole 69 Hr Track Run. This rugged finisher's buckle is crafted from select off-cuts of All-American CX 3/4" plywood. Hand-tooled by D&L Holistic Industries' doe-eyed eco-femmes, in the offshore tax-havens of the Bang Slap Archipelago.

INCOMPLETE RACE INFO:
Height Categories: Dwarf, Average, and Too Damn Tall
Weight: Anorexic, Uneasy-About-It, Love Handles & Roll-Overs, and Truck-Scale Worthy. 
Length: Guys, I suspect that this category will be most rife with obfuscations, hedgings, and outright cheating. Applicants/claimants will argue [invariably] that it all depends on who's doing the "examinations".

With that said, here goes. [music sfx: cue up Ron Jeremy] Peewee, Piddling, Dull-Normal, "I'm Feeling Good", and "Too Much of A Good Thing". 

[For those unclear on the concept, here *is* a difference between 9 inches and 9 centimeters].

Just so no one complains of being left out, for the ladies and the guys out there who are still with us-- Behold the JogBra Competition: Categories include Teeny, Perky, Tasty, Hmmm, Melons Out of Season, Eye-popping. 

Swell huh? 

If this was Jeopardy, "I knew the answers, but I did not get the questions right..."

For those that just woke up, this is your chance to steer the thread back to the safe waters of salt, blisters, "why RD's are congenitally mean to me", and "what is an ultra?"

Well, gotta tend to the hydroponic PowerBar farm under the grow-lights.

The URFKT100

This is the granddaddy of all obscure, cultic 100-milers. If you got this far, you'll know it.
Now, the fine print:

#norefunds

 


 
       

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