Indisputably SKT!

Now was a good time to take a pole.
I received a lot of requests to repost this post that was part of my SKT story a few hours back.

Long Story Indisputably Short

I was in a 31 mile race, had drop a MEGA Deuce about 15 miles in, went to the Poop Lounge in a dry stream bed. That’s kind of near the Hurt Locker. But I didn't have to fall down an embankment. Then had to wipe my butt with a tree-branch. 

 Came back out to finish the race. 

 No POOPY PANTS FOR ME!  

 BUT…

 I GOT CHICKED. 

 Lots of times. Fuckin’ Betties passing my ass like I had a pulmonary enema or some shit!

 I DROPPED THE DEUCE, BUT NOT THE BOAT! 

 Kept my hand out of the aid-station food trays until I Purell’d it and made sure there was no taint. Because I had to show that my asshole wasn't the boss.

 Several hours later my watch lost 30 minutes while I was recharging it. 

 “GOD DAMN! You had ONE JOB.” 

 But I took responsibility for it. Then I got chicked a few more times. 

 They say “It's not about winning a trophy or a medal, it's the about the message” They gave me one at the finish. Because I was official. I was battling for 131st place overall, 49th in my age-group? And I overcame situational adversity and stone-cold nailed it.

 If you have more shits to give, give it! If not, so be it! Only you know if you have more to give. And Shit. Otherwise threaten legal action.

 I’ve heard “The awards are given publicly! Make your own finish line. One that only you know about.”  So I did! It was 100 yards past the start line. I could’ve been done by in 30 seconds, and not have to fuck with being chicked! I kept going. Didn't tell anyone. 

 Then I made my own podium. Brought copies of my manifesto and read it aloud to bunch of empty fucking chairs!

Postscript

Finally: Don’t be afraid of the Dork! It’s one thing we should learn to get used to, like high-water pants and haircuts you got from your mom. Dork times are not hopeless times. Even Rosie Palmer may abandon you.

 Make your mind adjust even though the only thing it wants to do is run away. Pro-tip: take a cab. 

 Gotta run, and make a bullshit post to wake up my downline. Rent is due end of the month!

 !!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
(Spare bangs saved up, ready to go for next time.)

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