LA: Eastside, Westside, and Who Gives A Shit?


"Which Way LA?" of KCRW in Santa Monica took time out from their busy audio-wallpaper environs to pose a Burning Question: Which is more LA? Eastside or Westside? 

Since this is either deadly serious, or a frolicsome ratings stunt, people are gonna get hurt. Think of it as two fat, naked, bald men, slippery with salad oil, fighting over comb. 

 Already somebody's feeling left out. The Valley, for instance. Better luck next time. 

So here are the original questions, with my M-80 answers attached.

1] Which is better, the Westside or the Eastside? Why?
Eastside. I sojourned in the People's Republic of Santa Monica, summer of 86. Smug levels were already building. I lived for 28 yrs in the Melrose/Fairfax. Seven yrs ago I moved to the western slope of the Silver Lake Alps. 

 2] What is the boundary that separates the Westside from the Eastside? 
Do you cross those boundaries? What are you willing to drive across town for?
  • 405 = far westside boundary, with WLA drafting in its wake.Then there's the in-betweenies of BevHills and WeHo, which pretend Hollywood doesn't exist. 
  • Vermont Ave = eastern frontier of Hollywood
  • 110 = Eastern frontier of Echo Park.
I'll drive to the Far Westside only for opportunistic neccesity. 

The Real Eastside is Boyle Hts, Lincoln Hts, and so on. But all the foo-foo posers like to pretend they're Eastside, when in reality they're nice suburban kids from somewhere else, and they all shop at Anthropologie, UO, and drink the same ghastly silage smoothies while smoking American Spirits and getting hammered on shit PBR.

3] Which side of the city enhances LA's image more? Which side is more "LA" and why?
Eastside. People have less money over here, so they have to make it up. Then the Westsiders come in to buy it, and take it home.

Santa Monica is so not LA. So they can go pound sand. 

4] Fill in the blank: You know you're on the Eastside when_____________
 …you cross Vermont, and signs are in Spanish, Armenian, Thai and Filipino in the same block. And Westsiders are busy blocking traffic staring at their iPhones trying to like, figure out where they *are*.

5] Fill in the blank: You know you're on the Westside when_____________
 ...you cross the 405, and everything gets shiny bland. When Lululemon becomes the look for the girls, compared to the studied frumpiness of hipster betties over here. When tats on the guys go from Ed Hardy knockoffs to faux-tribal. And you'll get run over by a dork in a Range Rover.

Damn. I feel better already. I'll bet Jason Bentley is cueing up his Chris Douridas 12" Coachella remixes right now. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I Didn't Conquer Kilimanjaro

Image
THE SUMMIT I didn't conquer Kilimanjaro. I paid attention, cooperated with the mountain in optimal conditions. Made the summit on Mar 10 2024; and more importantly, made it back down safely on my own steam. This was a pilgrimage for my late wife Leslie Sowle, who'd done it in Dec 2003. When I reunited with her in Jan 2022, I repeated my admiration for her accomplishment. She looked at me and said "its just a long walk. You could do it" Leslie in red parka. Kilimanjaro, 2003. Photographer unknown. At the time I demurred, because Kili was irrelevant in the face of her oncoming death. I began thinking about it in September 2023. If not now, then when?  I started training with her very good 2003 Arcteryx RT25 pack at home in Ventura County, CA. I made no mention of it on the socials. Bad juju. I'd booked the longest trip possible [11 days Northern Lemosho Route] with Simon Mtuy's Summit Expeditions to get as much altitude conditioning possible. A shorter trip [5-
Read more

If Carhartt Made Wedding Dresses…

Image
"La Paloma de Alba" This lovely two-piece bib overall mermaid gown has delicate, feminine details throughout. From the hand-beaded, antique-finish nickel hardware brooch detail on the sweetheart bodice, to the cascading rose at the hip, it is a gorgeous dress for the modern bride. Field-Tested, multiple tool and utility pockets. Faux-braided ribbon closure at back; breakaway honeymoon closure on side. Made of 11.75-ounce, 100% denim cotton, with triple-stitched main seams, satin-polyester facings and taffeta trim material. Also available in Nomex®™. Shown in Sandstone. Available in Moss, Dark Green and Enhanced Black.
Read more

Never Bet Against The Angeles Crest 100

Image
Scott Jurek, leading in 1999 at Chilao (51mi). Tom Nielsen was gaining on him. This post concerns the 2000 and 2001 AC100 races.  In the course of reviewing the facts, I'd realized that I had merged two races together. Thanks to chats with Jennifer Johnston and Tom Nielsen, I got straightened out. The story is more interesting that way.  1999: Prequel Scott Jurek and Tom Nielsen had locked horns at AC in 1999. Everything was ducky up until Chantry, when  Mr Murphy starts dropping wrenches in the gears. Tommy caught Ian Torrence on Mt Wilson [79mi give or take], and then Jurek at Idle Hour.  Idle Hour. 81 miles, in a Dark Hole in the side of a mountain.  That is a hard place to get served.  I think this was pre-packet radio days, and Ham-radio transmissions sometimes got lost or delayed bouncing off the canyons. There are 2 additional checkpoints, but nobody is quite sure where he is.  Or it seemed that way then. David Emmons, who was manning the Millard Aid Station comm
Read more