Poison Oak and You: A Public Service Announcement for the Perplexed

We all know nature is good. Walt Disney and Steven Speilberg say so. Christy Brinkley does too. They know. Especially Christy. She knows plenty about keeping warm in a snow-cave.

But now it's coming on to spring, and then summer. Amidst all the pretty flowers, there's our friend Mr & Mrs Poison Oak. Say Hi! to them. They like us, and you in particular. Now, if by chance, you r-u-b-b-e-d any of those shiny leaves on any part of your young bum, it's OK. Really. Here's what we do.

1) Sit back and wait. It's Nature's Way.

2) When the Itchy Monsters come, go ask Mom for several things. Ask Mom if she has any Clorox or a wire brush. Dad may have to get that from his work-bench. Then ask her for a can of lighter fluid and a big box of kitchen matches. She'll have them, because *Moms Know*.

3) Splash on the Clorox, and go to town. Then everywhere it itches, even a wee little bit, just get Mr Wire-Brush to do his thing. He's kind of stern. Then when you've had all the fun you could possibly want, be creative with the lighter fluid on whatever part of your body the Itchy Monsters are. They won't forget it, and neither will you!

4) Light up outside. This gives you lots of room to run around in, and you get to release all your feelings without making Mom or Dad miss any part of the "I Love Lucifer" marathon they're watching.

5) Well, that's it for me! I've got to get rolling. Enjoy the rest of your day!

Mr Trail Safety

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I Didn't Conquer Kilimanjaro

If Carhartt Made Wedding Dresses…

Never Bet Against The Angeles Crest 100