Gumby Went Down To Georgia


The Cruel Jewel 100/50 is a UTMB qualifier. This should be warning enough. Ask Karl Meltzer. If you’re looking for an easy 100, keep moving. You might even have your name announced and a podium to vault.

The CJ100/50 is intensely old-school. No timing chips, themed aid stations with costumed volunteers, no noisy sound systems booming Journey or whatever dreck is deemed inspirational. Quiet reigns. Some of you 100s better listen up.

Its the South, and its hot. Being Northern Georgia, a few short miles from Tennessee, N Carolina and S Carolina, even up in the mountains its hot. And steamy. Get used to it. But they put this on in mid-May, before it really gets real.

There's 26,000' of vert in the hundred, and it will kick your ass. Swiftly and repeatedly. Think endless Mt Wilson repeats out of Chantry Flats.

So. I went to CJ for the 50. Pulled the DNF Lever at Mile 8. Disappointed? yes. My right hip was locking up at 7 miles, and crippling dipshit heroics weren't in the cards. Unlike one woman I met at the finish, who'd spent 5hrs walking 10mi to drop at 30mi. So I freeballed across north Georgia, taking pictures instead.

Better luck next time!



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