Showing posts from March, 2005

J-Lo's "Trail-of-Tears" AC100 Training Run

Angeles Nat Forest, above Sierra Madre CA, hothouse of Rose Bowl Queens

Sunday dawned clear and warm. This was the first calendar day of autumn and yet was alive with hundreds of eager, ready and willing tiny bugs that wanted to homestead in any available nostril. That's the glory of love.

Meanwhile, J-Lo was making her final tearful preparations. Bennifer was in the bathroom sulking. Her Inflatable Trail Companions in the form of Dr Casino Bingo, Draw Poker and MC Stumpy-D [shout out to all his homies in the HP!] had gathered at Chantry Flats.

They were to run a short 22 miles to Millard Campground. A three-hour cruise. Butt-kickers and high-knees the whole way. Enough time to review the contents of the latest JoggersWhirld, and then get back to the mall for a smoothie. Ask Dave, I've forgotten her name already.

The climb up Mt Wilson-Phillips passed in a blizzard of splits and statistics. Stumpy-D and Dr Bingo traded whiffleball headers. Draw Poker's head snored…

KCRW Pledge-Drive Premium Modest Proposal

We all know about KCRW's infamous Pledge Drives. Yabbering sincerity. Auntie Ruth hectoring YOU about reading other people's NYT, especially since its available only in translation here in LA.

Its hard work being a cutting style-leader, having the latest murmured Brit-pop and shoe-gazer geek chic loaded up on your iPod. And frankly, most of you are guilted into it. You, humble KCRW listener, want something more to show for it. And Aunt Ruth wants a better bottom line.

Enter the KCRW Pledge-Drive Premium Modest Proposal. I propose the following Donor Level--The Double Golden BareBack Angel CD Special. If you're a guy, you give $30k, and you get a weekend suite at Shutters, unlimited mini-bar & room service, and the lissome 15 year old girl of your choice.

The Enquiring Mind might ask "Where's the CD in this?"

O ye of little faith. That's the 15 year old girl, and whatever it takes to get you thru the nite, all right, all right.

And for the ladies, we're…

My Poem 4 Dusty Mountains, By Lady G-Spot

My Poem 4 Dusty Mountains, By Lady G-Spot

I live up here in the Sierra Nevadas,
Where rocks and trees, suck up lotsa water.
The breezes blow strong into my sheltered lair,
Whereupon dust, is an all day affair.

Above my living room,
Blankets hang over railing,
Their near-pristine state,
Confess none of my failings.

They, like I, suffered no consequences.
When I indulge, in Harlequin Romances.
I whisper to you, that I always come clean,
As my Auld Forest Prince, loads my washing machine.
Blushingly, Crushingly

....Lady G-spot