TORN FROM TODAY'S HEADLINES
NATION IN BRIEF / HAWAII
Squirrel on a plane diverts flight
From Times Wire Reports
February 10, 2007
American Airlines diverted a Tokyo-to-Dallas flight, landing the airplane in Honolulu because the pilots found a squirrel in the cockpit.
"HEH-HEH-HEH! GIVE ME THE JOYSTICK, YOU FUCKERS!"
Flight 176, a Boeing Co. 777 with 202 passengers aboard, arrived in Honolulu at 5:27 a.m. local time after the flight crew heard a noise in an overhead bin,
LOUD MUSIC, OE40's ROLLING AROUND, AND POWERBARS IN THE SHAPE OF FUNNY LITTLE ANIMALS
found the squirrel
WHO TOLD THE CREW:
"I GOT MINE, NOW FUCK OFF!... AND GET YOUR OWN! -HEH-HEH-HEH!"
and decided to land at the nearest airport, a spokesman
for American said. It was standard procedure, he said,
WHILE KNEADING A BLOCK OF SEMTEX INTO A RODENTESQUE SCULPTURE
and based on concern that a squirrel could create a safety issue aboard the plane if it chewed through wires.
OR SWAPPING OUT IN-FLIGHT MOVIES FOR "SOMETHING MORE INTERESTING"
Passengers were sent to their destinations on other flights.
THE SQUIRREL WAS TAKEN TO THE ROYAL HAWAIIAN AND MET BY HIS POSSE OF STARLETS