Squirrelled Away

TORN FROM TODAY'S HEADLINES

http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/asection/la-na-briefs10.1feb10,1,6310080.story


NATION IN BRIEF / HAWAII
Squirrel on a plane diverts flight
From Times Wire Reports
February 10, 2007

American Airlines diverted a Tokyo-to-Dallas flight, landing the airplane in Honolulu because the pilots found a squirrel in the cockpit.

"HEH-HEH-HEH! GIVE ME THE JOYSTICK, YOU FUCKERS!"

Flight 176, a Boeing Co. 777 with 202 passengers aboard, arrived in Honolulu at 5:27 a.m. local time after the flight crew heard a noise in an overhead bin,

LOUD MUSIC, OE40's ROLLING AROUND, AND POWERBARS IN THE SHAPE OF FUNNY LITTLE ANIMALS

found the squirrel

WHO TOLD THE CREW:
"I GOT MINE, NOW FUCK OFF!... AND GET YOUR OWN! -HEH-HEH-HEH!"

and decided to land at the nearest airport, a spokesman

"CARL"

for American said. It was standard procedure, he said,

WHILE KNEADING A BLOCK OF SEMTEX INTO A RODENTESQUE SCULPTURE

and based on concern that a squirrel could create a safety issue aboard the plane if it chewed through wires.

OR SWAPPING OUT IN-FLIGHT MOVIES FOR "SOMETHING MORE INTERESTING"


Passengers were sent to their destinations on other flights.


THE SQUIRREL WAS TAKEN TO THE ROYAL HAWAIIAN AND MET BY HIS POSSE OF STARLETS

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