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Showing posts from March 12, 2006

Gyrl, Youe Knowe Yts Trewe

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Greetings, Gentle Reader:

I have before me a poem that was recently discovered hidden in a wall, behind a broom closet, on the 4th floor attic of the Bilious Refectory of St Pythos The Charred, 2 Close Way, Bangers-On-Mash, Wankershire, England.

All internal evidence points as with one eye that it was intended as work d'art, a carta de introduccione if you will, for the author to gain favor with an unspecified, but literate woman. Other works of this era refer to such-said women as "stackedde". The author is evidently familiar with more-than-basic Principia de Pharmacopia, and was competent with the use of the astrolabe and perhaps the Astroglydde.
Gyrl, Youe Knowe Yts Trewe In thyss letterre, unadorned bye circumflexxe,
Moated by serfe, andde imperis rex,
By guttering light I penne thyss screed,
Cribbyng fromm the werkes of Venerable Bede.

Your profyle immaculata [verso/recto]—to boote,
At the shore, I'm seated, imitating Kanutte,
Attempting to conjure with Saynte John…

Marathon Advice to a Newbie

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Photo taken back when I was fab, just before my very first marathon—I knew nothing.

PRE RACE

Avoid the pre-race carbo load. It'll put a wad of gummy sludge in yr gut that will buy you nothing. And you'll be thinking of how to take a dump before race start. A better plan is to have no solid food [finished & done] after 5pm the day before the race. Relax wherever you are staying--home or maybe in that hotel you mentioned. Stay off your feet. Plenty of time for that later.
THE REAL CARBO-LOAD, 3 Day Program

Thurs: 64 oz of mango nectar mixed w/ Carboplex-interspersed w/64 oz waterFri: 64 oz of cranberry juice mixed w/ Carboplex-interspersed w/64 oz waterSat: 32 oz of Gatorade mixed w/ Carboplex-interspersed w/32 oz water
You can find the Carboplex at General Nutrition or a similar bodybuilding emporia. At the end of this load you'll feel like a cross between Godzilla and a drag-racer jumping the blocks on a 1/4 mile straightaway.

RACE DAY/PRE-RACE
Get there at least 2 hrs befor…