Mr Trail Safety Speaks!

Dead meat on a stick. My training died at 18 miles. A 3:55 finish   You may have heard about the 2026 LA Marathon offering DNF finisher medals at 18mi because heat.  I have 2 opinions.   1] Liability issues because undertrained entrants. 80º air temps = 95º asphalt. All those Elvis costumes, and maybe deep-sea diving bell entrants. 2] Fucking pussies   …BUT WAIT 3] “...But I feel like a marathoner!!” Which of course brought back many happy convos w several on a similar ultra topic.   4] where’s the 30k buckle???  

AC100 2014: Dead Man's Bench, Mile 79 "Running for time, not distance" is an eternal lure for distance training . However, races are still measured in distance. Time on feet is important, but ya gotta get somewhere before cut-off. Otherwise this training mod ality is a self-deluding feedback loop.  I found this out in 1986 when I ran my 1st LA Marathon, training out of Ardy Friedburg's "How to Run Your First Marathon". Years later it appeared on Amazon, and I review ed it, as follows: "How to Run Your First Marathon" is a cruel hoax in a breezy, fun, gosh-its-gonna-be-fun style. I bought this book in 1985, when I was training for my first marathon, Los Angeles 1986. It promised a bunch of things, namely "don't worry too much about distance, run for time". That is perfect barney-bait. By the time I was at 20 miles, I'd begun to hate the day I'd imagined that the author knew what he was talking about. OK, ...

Lies, Damnable Lies A sultry whisper in my ear. “Finishing a marathon is like pie…warm Apple Pie…” It was Denise Richards. I began to sweat. I looked at my wristband. WWSD. What Would Satan Do? I was stuck for an answer. I smelled brimstone. A deep laugh boiled up beneath me. “Silly wabbit…Carboplex! Carboplex!…Remember last summer at band camp!” Dark laughter fading away. It takes a brain to laugh and a train to cry. A sound like a gunshot. The relentless Music-Box Dancer replay of “Chariots of Fire” Swirling issues of JoggerzWhirld blinded me. Recipes for low-fat smoothies and better 10k splits blighted my vision! I was trapped in a crowd of 50,000 gerbils wearing bibs and ChampionChips! I fell down. I was being trampled! Denise Richards was laughing at my incompetence… again! I tried to get up and she faded away in the crowd that swirled around her, as I woke up with a jolt. I was not running the XX LA Marathon . Praise Gawd. I lit a Kool 100 to settle my frazzled n...