Kamp n0Rm, Year Zero-Zero

 


Date: Thu, 25 May 2000 07:46:29 -0700

 Greetings All:

It's a brand new Millenium, and ever'body's all set to go to what used to be called "Kamp n0Rm". Well...n0Rm's not in charge any more, but Tradition Is Everything, so here it is, just like last year.
================================

Dear Diary:

I think I have Saturday all worked out for the 3000 prospective WS Runners. After I put on a shirt and some really sweat-inspiring stiff Levis, my day begins.

0300: Inspect busses for signs of drug use.

0400: polish glasses.

0500: Throw everything into the WS Command Vehicle, warm up engine.

0530: Load extra pairs of Ice-Pants® and ice-hats onto roof-rack.

0545: Hope that cocky young asshole Boisseree doesn't show up with his loudmouth pal Gassan(?) Gasstown(?) Gasstune(?) from LA.

0600: Begin writing my speech for the morning. Be sure to leave some room for spontaneous applause and shouts of "Stand Up!!!" Play along. Have someone take names and plate numbers of those the crowd snickering, probably Boisseree and Gassan, or whatever he's calling himself these days.

0730: Arrive Foresthill. Bellow and raise dust.

0811: Interrupt speech with pointing of finger at those assholes Boisseree and Gassan, make note to blackball them forever. Or maybe just get them to pay retail, those carpetbaggers...

0830: Drop the checkered flag and ride in the car with the flashing lights up to Robinson Flat.

1000: After frightening away any non-local mountain lions with some mortar salvos, make more comments and declare the run underway, whatever.

1100: Take nap.

1300: chew pencil and write speeches for clinic tonight. Get "Twister" and "Parcheesi" games out of garage.

1330: Inventory discounted Ice-Pants® for big sale tonight, after Depends Raffle.

1445: Bug Helen as to where I left my eyeshade.

1447: Hear snapping sound from sitting on eyeshade.

1600: Acknowledge delerious cheering from the 6000 prospective pacers and volunteers for the proposed Cal St 6 aid station. Make sure that those irreverent shits Boisseree and Gassan are nowhere near the starry-eyed. Same goes for Medinger...

1602: take nap. wash hands afterward.

1630: Catch Geraldo or Jeopardy.

that should do it.

n0Rm

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