Tour De France Announces FOMOCAM License Plates

 

 

The Tour De France Announces FOMOCAM License Plates

These unique and expensive auto-ornaments are dedicated to all who got in the way of pro cyclists and pro media in the 2024 Tour de France. This is your Bonne Chance to flaunt your level of Le Expertise.

2.1. The Classes

The plates will be issued in the following classes:

  • Yellow: General classification, overall leader
  • Green: Points
  • Polka dots: Mountains
  • White: Best first time offender

2.2. Certificate of Conformity

One of the most important documents you will need is a certificate of conformity (certificat de conformité/attestation d'identification) that your license complies with technical standards in France.

You will need to produce:

  •     your existing vehicle registration certificate,
  •     passport,
  •     proof of address (such as utility bill) in France, and
  •     purchase invoice (or similar evidence).

2.6. Proof of Identity

You will need to produce:

  •     your passport;
  •     a utility bill giving proof of your address

Still with us, good.

2.8. Inscrutable French Poly/Uni Mathematics

Pay close attention here.

PF = (CO₂/45) + (P/40)^1.6.

Where:
    PF = Puissance Fiscale
    CO₂ = Carbon Emission (gr/km)
    P = Horsepower (1 hp = 0,736 kW)

ALSO: factor in the consumption of Pastis squared with the number of unfiltered Gauloises being smoked. It’s a sine wave really…the higher the consumption, the greater randomization of spectator behavioral variables.
Its a Sine of the Times.
Juliette Binoche wept.

2.9. Costs/Taxes

Several taxes and charges are payable, although some only apply to particular types of licenses. Those with Third Republic gold coins and Spanish Doubloons are invited to meet privately with representatives of the State.

2.10 Questions

Too bad, we're on Vacance, et Merde. 

====
Le Further Reading: Rise of the FomoCams

from Capetown Etc, June 30, 2021

 

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