Sprung Energies Awesome Sauce

Sorry-oh!

The Spring Gel Awesome Sauce turd blew up big several weeks ago, and the howls are epic.
Short weights and calorie counts? Fainting couches all across UltraLandia collapsed under the impact. Every ultra social-media franchise operator is elbowing to be the Great I Told You So, suddenly realizing that Lazy Stenography Has Consequences.

All of them.

A larger question is ‘re-examining your relationship to advertising and packaging’.

Thirty years ago [1993] I was introduced to mixing CarboPlex/CarbPro into running bottles with Kern’s mango nectar or Gatorade to get the liquid calories. The caloric weight was bigger at a much smaller cost. Or into plain water if the gag-factor became a problem, with salt caps.
I recall Hammer being touted then as well.

Of course, some of the whining is podium-worthy. Others should be accompanied by the "Ashokan Farewell", with the voice of Mary Chesnutt reading one of the mournful posts, as follows:

"Dearest Darling:

I write you today to inform you of my regretful and sorrowful DNF at the Kornholio 69K, due to the diminished inadequate nutrition of Spring Gel Awesome Sauce. The sutlers who had been provisioning the Ultra Army have vanished with all our specie, and we are left disconsolate"

Your dedicated training partner,  in #NutritionalPositivity,
Dextrose McSingletrack

Already there are noises about revisiting some of those results:

Where are the adults in the room? Get a fucking life.

This just in, Sun June 16 2024:


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