Scout Mountain Ultras: DFL, DNF....Aaah, What The Hell

I was not equal to the task set before me.
When I dropped at Mile 32 I gave my DFL/DNF podium speech, picked up the keys to the Benzo, thanked my sponsors.

Luke Nelson puts on a very tough race with amazing volunteers. The Scout Mountain Ultras [100/50/21 miles] is old school in the best way possible, with a Zero Douche Factor. Finish line at Mink Creek is quiet, but maybe the mosquitoes hadn't woken up yet. 

But now, back to my shit:
#brandambassadork
#SocialMediaWhoring
#BullshitExcusesYo

 Then I drove on down that Lonesome Highway to a Happy End.  

[Insert Interlude of Beautiful Music]

Now, for something to really jerk off to, where the fine blend of butt hurt is laid on [wait for it....] THICC. 
That's this season's meme-worthy term, kid you not.

In the beginning is the end, and shit.

Just prior to the 0500 start I was trying to stay warm by a fire, knowing I'd be sweating like a pig within a mile. Two local guys were discussing ultra-injuries, and other people's marital/romantic train wrecks. It all began to blend together, a ready mix of notional concrete. Like shop talk at cocktail parties. I commented to the woman next to me "ultra stories are pretty much alike" to which she said "I don't have many ultra stories."
I looked at her: young, dewy, clear-eyed and fresh. I envied her.

 The start was its usual scrum, and I was DFL by mile 3.

At Mile 6 passed a DFL 100 runner who was flailing w poles, had a bloody nose. He was shepherded into the 7 mile AS. Later heard he’d broken his nose in that fall. 

7 Mile AS: Cusick Creek

Already skirting 0700 cutoff. I cleared because it was remote, and they were all quad-tracking. Besides, I didn't have mismatched eyeballs, and a wad of bloody gauze hanging out of my nose.

13Mi AS: City Creek

Was either 30 or 60min ahead of cutoff. Sunny and warm. The rain of Friday had diminished to showers later. 

 The next leg was 10+mi to Elk Meadows,, which had gotten moved from their map location for reasons I'm not clear on. But hey, I'm from out of town, and shit just goes on. 

 Started up tree-shaded City Creek trail. Started going vertical at 16mi. Towards the end of the section in was literally a chute gully with high walls and bushes. My bungholio began to make demands, but I couldn’t shit in the chute. Upwards. 

 The last 1/2 mi was a rerouted social trail to avoid a large snow cornice. Topped out to gathering clouds. Started down trail to increasing showers. 

 Cloudburst as I was heading into trees. Gear Anxiety. Real time stop, shed Houdini, change into a real rain Helly Hansen jacket w liner. Wet but warm. Trail increasingly sloppy and narrowing. Wool Sox saved me. 

The jeep road became a trail, then a sketch stapled to the side of a hill. At the junction and a stream, met up w three off-road dirtbike teens and mom. Super nice. 

On to Elk Meadows [27mi] 

Climbing up and out, it was muddy and chewy, but not as bad as it could've been. 
Rolling meadows. All to my self now. Squatted up in the trees and released the Chocolate Hostage. Better now than Panic in the Aid Station.

 I arrived, was DFL, with an option to drop. Had it been raining, I might’ve. They had sausage, bacon, and slice turkey-avocado-bacon rollups. Wonderful! I’d been avoiding aid station food so far because it looked bad, and I had a full gut from the previous 48 hrs of Greek food, chili, Spaghetti-Os and whatever else I had. Oh yeah, Elmer's for breakfast in Pocatello. That was lit. 

 I opted  to push on to West Fork (34mi). I'll bet you're curious, or just need a break from all this hot action.
  • waiting for a ride out was an uncertain timeline
  • I had to push out past my discomfort/self-pity point
  • Sooner or later,  I’m going to be walking, a lot. 
Out I went. 

 I was passed by a couple of bro’s who were jamming to beat cutoff at West Fork's 32mi [330pm]. One made it, same guy who’d shepherded the bleeding runner. Gawd, I love the young and talented.

 The Grim Sweepers caught up to me at 31 miles. Very cheery people. 

Takeaways For The Curious

  • Wool socks essential. Wet feet, but no cold feet. 
  • Hoka Torrents harder than Stinsons, but better sole. All Vibram. Gaiters kept dirt out. Maybe Ultimate Direction will someday make gaiters that fit over Hoka clown shoes, like XXL. 
  • I wore the crappiest long-sleeve race shirt, the better Patagonia shirt was back in camp. 
  • Speed is/was mediocre for this event. I was behind from Mile 2.  
  • Had correct head gear for changing conditions. 
  • Kept electronics [smart phone, spare batteries] dry
  • Hydration OK, helped by overall cool wet conditions.
  • Altitude wasn't a glaring problem at 6,000', but I'm thinking now it was a subtle brake on my performance.

Forensic Selfie

Pace: blue line / Heart rate: red line

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