When life gave me lard, I made LardAid
|LardAid process monitor at the Catalytic Lateral Inertial Tower.|
When life gave me lard, I made LardAid.
Ever wanted 3000 calories on tap, ready to burn 70 miles into that 100? Or do you know some kale-n-broccoli smoothie victim that just needs that extra something outta life?
The answer is LardAid®™. Harvested from only the finest vintage ultra-talent, not the cheap filler from obese, sclerotic couch-dwellers.
LardAid is available as injection, vape, or a topical application.
LardAid was first revealed by Obscure Mexican Mystic Dr Sevende Sandia in 2005. D&L Holistic Industries chemists isolated the unique properties, and have brought it to you, the conflicted ultra-gearhead.
In full disclosure, here are some possible side-effects of LardAid:
- Latent memories of Cuban cigars
- Recollection of fart-jokes
- Remembering “Letters to Penthouse Editor”
- A sudden desire for single-malt Scotch
- Knowing the occult meaning of LS/MFT
After LardAid, I was striding up Horn-Dog Cyn in to the lowering cloud cover, a veritable swirling “Crullers In The Mist” scenario. Confidently modeling the Patagonia Regular Guy-Sized Wardrobe. You know, muffin-topped, barrel-chested, relaxed-fit dude-wear. Because for some odd-reason, I’m not 6’3” 140 lbs.
Never again would I weep into my Instagram account. I’ve overcome before, and thanks to LardAid, will do so again.