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Showing posts from March, 2018

When life gave me lard, I made LardAid

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LardAid process monitor at the Catalytic Lateral Inertial Tower. When life gave me lard, I made LardAid. Ever wanted 3000 calories on tap, ready to burn 70 miles into that 100? Or do you know some kale-n-broccoli smoothie victim that just needs that extra something outta life?  The answer is LardAid®™. Harvested from only the finest vintage ultra-talent, not the cheap filler from obese, sclerotic couch-dwellers.  LardAid is available as injection, vape, or a topical application. LardAid was first revealed by Obscure Mexican Mystic Dr Sevende Sandia in 2005. D&L Holistic Industries chemists isolated the unique properties, and have brought it to you, the conflicted ultra-gearhead.  In full disclosure, here are some possible side-effects of LardAid: Latent memories of Cuban cigars Recollection of fart-jokes Remembering “Letters to Penthouse Editor” A sudden desire for single-malt Scotch Knowing the occult meaning of LS/MFT After LardAid, I was striding up Horn-Dog