Posts

Showing posts from April, 2016

AC100 FAQ Flow Chart

Image
The average AC100 Entrant®™ will have many questions about the Race, in addition to the usual "where the fuck is Wrightwood?" This looted MC Escher artwork has been hacked to describe your emotional state upon entering the AC100 Vortex. Race Day is a slam-dunk bonerific snap after all this.

Study this carefully. Then memorize your possible Awards options. Get to the finish line 30 times, and you get The Ring To Rule Over Them All. Now that Jussi Hamaleinen DNF'd in 2015, after 26 or so finishes, there's no danger to Race Mgmt to cough up the money to make one of these for years to come.

Meanwhile, Back To Reality The real AC100 FAQ flowchart is below. No, I didn't make this up after eating a weed-brownie. This was created by an engineer that they let work on airplanes. Big ones. That so far have not all fallen out of the sky, thanks to built-in redundancies.

Technological advances have made it possible for the RD to take your money faster, and ignore your pleas …

AC100 Awards: Decoded and Explained

Image
The original AC100 Awards diagram didn't do this masterpiece justice. So now its described by a cryptic 3D graphic, and in a fancy frame. If you made the Two Minute Lottery Cutoff, and then make it past Cloudburst on Race day, you'll have 33 hours to ponder this. 

AC100 RD Ken Hamada came up with this Awards structure decades ago. Nobody's ever been able to make sense of it. Unless you had a degree in advanced calculus, or had a lot of time left over from solving Mysteries of the Illuminati, chem-trails, Bermuda Triangle, whatever.

And no matter who you are, nobody rides for free.

Sierra Kilo Tango: 9 Hours of Bungholio

Image
Wonderfulistic. I was passed by the finest names in SoCal ultras at least once. It helps when you're running different races to get the full impact of major talent. What bites was that twenty years ago I ran the 50-mile in the same time as I lurched thru the 50k.

There was an astonishing number of polite people out on the course, who also included newbies trying on their first trail run ever. It was great seeing them trying and getting it. They got their money’s worth.

I met people last year that I completely forgot until this year, when they called me by name. Holy fucking shit—that’s a mind-slip. But they were chill, still dropping me like they owed me money.
Race ParticularsThe course is a perverse T-shaped out-n-back that humps over several ridge lines in northern LA Co. Last year I tried on the 50-mi outing for size, and got pulled at 29 miles, taking the drop-down to a 50k. Yes, it used to be a loop, but that was when the world was young and long before the war.

This can be i…

AC100: Solo Division Buckle!

Image
The Solo Division was announced with great fanfare after the 2014 AC100 Race. When this concept was introduced, I saw text  suggesting strongly that solo runners would increase each year, and the non-solos would be correspondingly reduced, so that by 2020 it would all be Solo. Of course, then there would be no useless and annoying spectators, right? Boom! Problem solved!

Now the runner could compete under Pelican Bay Ultra Club Rules—and not take any aid from family, friends, groupies, or even people he or she owed money to. Doing so would be a lightning DQ.


The incentive for this that you could sign up an hour earlier than the regular scrum.

You think I'm shitting you, right? 

in the meantime I'm waiting to see how the AC100 Lottery is going to play out. I predict it will go something like this:
it will occur the Tuesday after close of Race10:35 AMin a remote, unverifiable location somewhere between Wrightwood and Kennedy Meadows, CA no independent auditing or oversight to see…

AC100 Unveils New Buckles for 2017

Image
The venerable Angeles Crest 100 has taken historic steps to advance into the front ranks of Legacy 100-mile races in the USA. New buckles were unveiled this morning to showcase the innovations in lottery and entrant management. The Race willgo full-Lotto on Aug 8, 2016 "to allow more people to enter the race" according to website spokesbots.

Race Director Ken Hamada celebrates his 30th year as the RD saying "I've outlasted all of the original race directors, so I must be doing something right. I'll live another thirty years thanks to my diet and sheer determination. If you can dream it, you can do it, just like Kim il-Sung"

The current race Awards structure will remain unchanged, despite repeated assaults by forces of reason and logic. "If you are 50, like Jussi was, you'll do well here."