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Showing posts from January, 2016

Bandit 50k: Where’s My Benzo?

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Bandit 50k is a sleeper, tucked away in Simi Valley. Yeah, you're thinking "suburbia, ET, mommy-vans, etc". Hold up!

This race will shank the unwary. Its fucking serious shit out there. Not a speck of cover, no water— but its race day, so you’re covered. All the smug "Cali Carpet Trails" dicks need that Ventura County schooling.We were lucky— generally cool and breezy. Today it’s raining like a bitch, so all that slick rock would go greasy on you in your hypothermic state.

It starts and finishes in Corriganville Park, ex-Movie Ranch, which got its start in 1937. The sandstone boulder scenery is in countless movies and TV shows, that are now on Hulu etc. Enough ancient history, now I’m gonna bore you about my race.

All you fast fuckers ran away from me, as if you owed me money. I was at least 30 places behind the talent, and they smoothed out the trail for me. Thank you.

Ripped on technical trail and fire-roads, out the ass. There was a paved section where the c…

WTF Is A Long Training Run, Anyway?

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"Running for time, not distance" is an eternal lure for distance training. However, races are still measured in distance. Time on feet is important, but ya gotta get somewhere before cut-off. Otherwise this training modality is a self-deluding feedback loop. 

I found this out in 1986 when I ran my 1st LA Marathon, training out of Ardy Friedburg's "How to Run Your First Marathon". Years later it appeared on Amazon, and I reviewed it, as follows:

"How to Run Your First Marathon" is a cruel hoax in a breezy, fun, gosh-its-gonna-be-fun style. I bought this book in 1985, when I was training for my first marathon, Los Angeles 1986. It promised a bunch of things, namely "don't worry too much about distance, run for time". That is perfect barney-bait.

By the time I was at 20 miles, I'd begun to hate the day I'd imagined that the author knew what he was talking about. OK, I finished--walked the last 2-1/2 miles to a 3:55. After I wa…

WS100 Buckle For Sale

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Screenshot of my original Facebook post, for those who need pictures t was bound to happen. The sport has "matured", if that's a proper term; to the point that sub-24 hr WS100 buckles are now being sold by their recipients on ebay. The first incident I heard of was a dealer selling one several years ago. It was recovered by the Western States 100, and it wasn't cheap.

Frankly, I'm startled. Yes, its his to do with as he pleases. He could lose it in a card game for that matter. But still. I was under the remarkably quaint impression you just didn't do this kind of thing.
Here's Jared Hazen's Facebook post: the ebay listing: I caught a lot of flak for posting this.

I made it clear that yes, I understood that he could do what he wanted with it. That seemingly overshot many of my critics. Whatever. Twitter was especially fun, as a bunch of aliased weenie-boys hid behind their keyboards and were flinging poo. Also funny that "@SteeltownRunner" and …

Plug-N-Play Dead Celebrity Facebook Post

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Next time your favorite public personality dies on you, here’s your modular ready-to-go, customizable Facebook memoriam.

I [just heard/was told/found out] that my favorite [actor/musician/personage] had [died/passed away/was taken from us too soon]. Needless to say I’m [saddened/heartbroken/strangely relieved] that their lifelong struggles with [addiction issues/personal challenges/being an asshole] have finally been lifted.

I first [heard/saw/avoided] [insert celebrity variable-text here] when I was [13/22/a long time ago] at [Burning Man/Madison Square Garden/detention facility] and their [art/music/devil may care spirit] lives in me still.

Full-On Sausage Magic

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Eventually I'll get around to saying something profound about holistic eating, being green, and all the rest. In the meantime, it was getting dark, clouds were rolling in, and rain was in the offing. A little dense protein goes a long way to keeping this boy from going into the weeds.