G8R Boi

A BRIEF FORWARD, by Dr Erasmus Binkster

Canada has given the United States many things. That's because Canadians are naturally generous. For instance: Peter Jennings, Dan Aykroyd, Celine Dion, Wayne Gretzky, France Jolie. And Canadians are so generous, they only want Wayne Gretzky back. We can keep the rest. Including Avril Lavigne. 

Avril wrote a song, nay, epic poetry that speaks to the fragrant heart of ultrarunning. No kidding. Here it is. I'm sure you may see yourselve[s] in this dainty ballad. 

PS All of you out there with 15 year old daughters can skip the pop-quiz at the end.



G8R Boi

[with insincere apologies to Avril Lavigne]


He was a trail-boy, she was, like, a 10k girl 
Can I, like, make it any more obvious? 
He was a trail punk, she did road 10ks 
Like, What more can I say? 
He'd like to do her, she'd never tell, 
secretly she wanted his trail-jerky self as well. 
But all of her friends hiked up their tights 
They had a problem with his Petzl Lights. 

He was a gaiter boy, she said "see you later boy" 
He wasn't good enough for her 
She had a pretty face, but her head was in 10ks 
She needed to come back down to trail dirt 

5 years from now, she sits at home, 
Stairmaster to heaven, she's all alone 
She turns on tv, guess who she sees? 
Gaiter Boy, rockin' up at the old LT. 
She calls up her friends, they already know, 
and they've all got pacers at the WS100 show 
She tags along, stands in the crowd 
looks up the shorts that she turned down 

He was a gaiter boy, she said "see you later boy" 
Mega-miles not good enough for her 
Now he's a superstar, slammin' on Powerbars 
Does her pretty face grok that trail dirt? 

He was a gaiter boy, she said "see you later boy" 
Mega-miles not good enough for her 
Now he's a superstar, slammin' on Powerbars 
Does her pretty face grok that trail dirt? 

Sorry girl but you missed out 
Well tough luck that boy's mine now 
Predawn trails-more than just good friends 
This is how the story ends 

Too bad that you couldn't see, 
see the man that boy could be 
There is more that meets the eye 
I see the soul that is inside 

He was a trail-boy, she was, like, a 10k girl 
Can I, like, make it any more obvious? 

We are in love, haven't you heard, 
how we rock each others world? 

I'm with the gaiter boy, I said "see you later boy" 
I'll be the finish-line after the n0Rm-show 
I'll be at the trail-head singing the song we wrote 
about a 10k girl he used to know 

I'm with the gaiter boy, I said "see you later boy" 
I'll be the finish-line after the n0Rm-show 
I'll be at the trail-head singing the song we wrote 
about a 10k girl he used to know 


=============slow fade out here==========

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