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G8R Boi

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A BRIEF FORWARD, by Dr Erasmus Binkster

Canada has given the United States many things. That's because Canadians are naturally generous. For instance: Peter Jennings, Dan Aykroyd, Celine Dion, Wayne Gretzky, France Jolie. And Canadians are so generous, they only want Wayne Gretzky back. We can keep the rest. Including Avril Lavigne.

Avril wrote a song, nay, epic poetry that speaks to the fragrant heart of ultrarunning. No kidding. Here it is. I'm sure you may see yourselve[s] in this dainty ballad.

PS All of you out there with 15 year old daughters can skip the pop-quiz at the end.


G8R Boi[with insincere apologies to Avril Lavigne]


He was a trail-boy, she was, like, a 10k girl
Can I, like, make it any more obvious?
He was a trail punk, she did road 10ks
Like, What more can I say?
He'd like to do her, she'd never tell, 
secretly she wanted his trail-jerky self as well.
But all of her friends hiked up their tights
They had a problem with his Petzl Lights.

He was a gaiter boy, she sai…