Why You Didn't Get To Join

A typical bogus candidate profile.
[revised Jan 30, 2015]

When I first wrote this, I was coming to grips with the staggering number of fake profiles in Facebook Landia applying to the ultrarunning Facebook group. Note lower-case U. Since this, I've become ruthless in dealing with this problem.
My first line of inquiry into an ultra-candidate is UltraSignUp.com, a great bullshit detector. And if there's any further doubt, I'll look on RealEndurance.com.

Here's the current ABOUT. It's edited down from the original, and still nobody reads it. Too bad.

This non-commercial site is about ultrarunning only. This growing group of informed ultrarunners is an excellent knowledge base. Please share your ultrarunning stories, adventures, goals, race reports, and questions.

Nothing focuses the mind like a cut-off. Everyone here has passed that simple test.

1] MEMBERSHIP REQUIREMENTS, in effect since April 2013
  • verified completion of at least one [1] 50k via UltraSignUp, and/or RealEndurance.com
  • visible evidence of ultra-capability that may not have been captured above
  • outstanding contribution[s] to the sport
Applicants using a nickname/alias will not be admitted, no exceptions. Ditto for "Dick&Jane LastName", unless that's on your driver's license or UltraSignUp results page.

Posts that are irrelevant to ultrarunning will be deleted immediately.

4] Play nice, or go home.


And now, for some ancient history and colorful photos:

Hello Rejected Applicant:

I understand your irritation as to why you were not admitted to the Facebook ultrarunning Group. I'll explain why I have to do this. 

I look at ALL profiles, to keep spammers off the site. If there's no evidence of ultra-participation, they don't get in, and the membership is spared annoyance. I owe this to every member of this group—from beginner to elite.

Is the applicant using a nickname, or is a commercial venture? Nicknames are problematic, because a lot of times those don't show up in Ultra SignUp. Commercial names: 9 times out of 10, they will immediately post about their commercial interests, even though this is spelled out in the "About This Group"; starting in English, and repeated in 27 other languages including Hungarian and Catalan. Just for the hell of it, have a look:
Welcome to the Facebook Ultrarunning Page! This site is about ultrarunning *only*. This is not about 5ks, 10ks, marathons, triathlons, mud-runs, rogaines, doggy-joggies or any of their variants. All posts that do not have a *direct* and relevant focus on ultrarunning will be deleted immediately without warning.
Pretty cryptic, huh? I mentioned clues. Here you go!


  1. I get bogus applicants all the time with fake and/or swiped pictures. See below for examples. And if I see a kid's photo--its right up there with a picture of a cat, dog, or worse yet, a cartoon character.
  2. Profiles with name and gender mismatches. Ditto Asian names with Anglo faces.
  3. If all I see are public-domain pictures of activities that have nothing to do with ultras in any form, that suggests that the applicant is bored. They need to get a life, which is not my problem.
  4. If there is no sign of running, or they're all about 10ks, rogaining, or any of the exclusions I listed in the FAQ [cited above, and completely visible to the FB public], then they don't get in because they ignored it. And if they passed, and start posting about 10ks, etc, they get deleted. No warning. I owe them nothing. 
All we do here is ultras. Thanks for your understanding in this matter.

Now, let's go to the Portrait Gallery Of Hilariously Bogus Applicants

Fauzia Harry

"Fauzia Harry", who got me thinking about swiped identities and preposterous ambitions. ""She" originally applied to the AC100 page. 

Was from Hong Kong. No mutual friends, a dramatic profile photo [attached], but no number bibs or Camelbak. Googling her picture turned up a Chinese porn site. Deciding that "her" splits were not likely to be from Short Cut to Newcombs, "her" request was denied. 

Then "she" applied here. I'm sure she's legit. Operas have been written about stuff like this.
Ladies and gentlemen—meet "Jessica Wong" As we can tell, "Jessica" has a multi-continental presence.
 An image-search turned up hits in Italy and China. And I'm sure "she" loves Boston too.

"Jessy Wollf",  sent in "her" membership request in the finest raw, minimalist style.
Note that she *is* sporting a hand-held, and is probably about to undertake some WS100-style heat-training.

Henry will refi your house if you finish before cut-offs. See, guys can be douches too.
Just so you won't feel cheated, here are some more:
The European Space Agency is better with this orbiting object.

Watts Nicola wants you to know what he shares with friends. Daylight's burning!


It is amazing what BS some of my otherwise intelligent fb friends will friend. Hasn't anyone heard of identity theft?
Mr Trail Safety said…
Cleavage is a great leveler in this regard, and will override most nerd-security systems. Systems. Systemz.

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