Ragnar is Another Way of Spelling Poser Douche
Is "Ragnar" another way of spelling "Poser Douche"?Hell Fuck Yeah! Of course it is! We've all heard about the Tough Mudders, Spartan Series, Warrior Dash etc. Then there are Ragnars.
What are Ragnars? They're crowded, expensive relay events of multiple participants of short duration [20 miles] over longish distances [100 + miles], that will grind you down to bare-metal with lots of driving and waiting. Kurt Vonnegut described this kind of thing as a "granfalloon". Go ahead, look it up.
There was an NYT article recently about how Wall Street assholes really loved this kind of bullshit as a way to vent cube-rage in their constipated, competitive Type-A looter lives. Maybe boxing got too real, and their sparring partners were failing at pulling punches for their clients. Whatever.
Enter a classic Corporate Anal Intruder ... Salomon! Yes, The UTMB Helicopters Flying Around Mont Blanc Salomon. Go ahead, they need your money.
But back to "Warrior Dash". Oh boy. It doesn't count unless its live-fire. Otherwise its expensive douchery.
Don't despair…you've come to the right place!
Welcome to the "Corporate Ragnar Warrior Dash®™!" It'll hoover up all of you SuperBowl Lard-Asses and hold them upside down, shaking you 'til all the money falls out, kick them in the ass, and then tell them that the next year's race is full—unless they want to pay for the XtremeSpeedPass®™.
First pre-race whorientation meeting will be at CanOpeners' Weiner Ranch®™ out in Hellmouth CA. Be sure to download the 300pp Rules, Regs and TOS pdf before coming. Have your MC/Visa at the ready.
In closing, several months ago somebody in the San G's told me that I looked like an "ultra guy" [his quotes], and had I done a Ragnar. I didn't know WTF a Ragnar was, and now, I def won't run one.
In the words of Afroman: "Fuck the corporate world, beeyotch!"