Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Arianna Huffington Examined

Recently Arianna Huffington was taken to task for having a colossal ego and character issues. Really! Compared to the bile and crap spewing out of whatever head Michelle Malkin or Sean Hannity are wearing these days, its nothing.

Then there was a blow-up regarding Clooney's post on HuffPo etc. Insert farting noises here. Yours, mine, it doesn't matter.

I've watched the Arianna from the safety of my kitchen table for several years now. So someone had to say something. And I did.

Hollywood is not my beat," Huffington said.

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-wk-clooneymar16,1,7617508.story?coll=la-headlines-entnews

Hi Bob:

Dude! Do I hear the Outraged Voice of the Lover Spurned here? You mean to say that Arianna alone is the sole object of your fury because she's All About Me? And like who the fuck in DC and the 90210 isn't?

Did it occur to you that the ones you really have to watch out for are the Ones Who Claim To Serve Humanity Alone? they are the ones who seem to have a plan involving complicated one-way train schedules converging on a smoky furnace somewhere.

With that out of the way, let's look at some salient points in Arianna's career. Consider this a broad overview:

1] She came from bankrupted Greek somethings to Washington DC to troll for the best-looking available talent in the GOP Stud Book. On that day its Mike Huffington.

2] Mikey Huffington turns out to be gay, and that's after dumping $29m into one of the stupidest Senate campaigns in California history, which he lost by a slender margin. Not a landslide, but slender. He and Arianna divorce, afterwhich he announces he's a Democrat AND gay, to the befuddlement of both mentionees.

3] Arianna meanwhile has a Road to Damascus epiphany, wherein she realizes that Newt Gingrich is really a large, chubby, opportunistic termite at the head of a large column of similar parasites. Maybe that causes part of her fore-brain to wake up and say "what the fuck?!"

4] Bill Clinton gets a blow job, and we get to hear all about it. If it was me, I'd sooner walk into a woodchipper than fuck with Hillary if I was married to her, but to each their own.

5] Bush wins the 2000 election by five votes. Look for character in that one.

6] 2003: Meanwhile, back in Cali, Gray Davis has the GOoPers in fits because of his grasp of CA politics. He's grudgingly re-elected only because Bill Simon is so goddamned inept, following in the large footprints of Dan Lundgren. A recall campaign is launched by Daryll Issa, and hatched in the SUV'd echo-chambers of rightwing talk radio down in San Diego. Pissed off white guys are howling about Davis. Never mind that he was double-buttfucked by Enron and a car-registration time-bomb bequeathed to him by Pete Wilson.

7] Enter the Arnold--Goodbye Darryl, and sorry about that $2m you spent outta your own pocket.

8] The recall election is on. Where were the Democrats? Hiding in plain sight with their thumbs up their asses. Who was visible and had something to say? Arianna.

So, blow all you want. She's got more balls than 99% of the current Senate, and she should be bitch-slapping Nancy Pelosi into doing her job in the House. And if she's vain, self-centered, and all that, so-fucking-what!

In the face of a whole ungodly host of ethics & character-challenged ugly schemers like O'Reilly, Hannity, Coulter, Savage, and their lesser troglodytes, try to remember who is doing what. Maybe just a little.

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