Wedding Vows: The Guy View

Wedding Vows: The Guy View

A friend got married a while ago. Here are some ideas I had for his wedding vows.

Let's see...since I don't have the laptop for the PowerPoint Presentation, I'll just write down a few "talking points". Yep! That
sounds right. Cover my ass, make points, and have time left over for a big honkin liplock.

Sketch out some Big Ideas, then get to particulars. First get through the "have and hold, sickness and health part". Don't mumble. Then I go for the gusto.

1] Honey, your ass will NEVER look big. Ever. It'll only look BETTER than it is if you strap on these Manolos.

2] Vacations: Paris, France, or Perris, CA...aaah, what the hell! I'm with you, and I love Le Quarter Midget stock car races.

3] When asked to choose in a Galactic Battle for World Domination Between Yanni and Kenny G, I'll ask you for the current odds in Vegas, then bet double down on the white guy.

4] The remote control. It'll never get lost in the sofa or under the covers when you want to watch ice-skating or synchronized swimming while "Cops" or "Nature Gone WIld" is on. Who's Paris Hilton?

5] You'll think of something.

6] Hey, I don't like broccoli either.

...And with that, I take thee, for my lawful wedded wife. Gentlemen, start your engines!

Mr Trail Safety


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