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My Half-Assed Culo Gordo: A Holiday Diet Slice

My Half-Assed Culo Gordo


The Homage to the epic Culo Gordo 50k was run yesterday in the Santa Monica Mountains. It followed the canonical route as laid down in the last century by the renowned "brujo-dybbuk" Devi Reinstein.

I was late to the start due to an early morning drop off at LAX. I supposed if I hadn't flipped off the security goons and waved the gun I might have gotten there earlier. But I wanted the front-runners to have a fair chance.

The morning was clear and sharp--nippleaciously perky in fact. The rain clouds of the night before had gone on to other locales. As I blundered up the trails out of Will Rogers State Park I wondered "Where's Meg Ryan when you need her? What's a tranquil Sunday morning without a loud cell-phone?"

At the Backbone/Sullivan Cyn trail jct I could feel the heat of the front-runners. Their subtle imprints in the dirt led down into the canyon. I followed the yawns and butt-flares of the bobcat and cougar. At the bottom of …

Another Sunday-School Ultra Run

Another Sunday-School Ultra Run
25 Miles up the old Mt Wilson Trail

Sun Nov 17 2002, 0702 start

Simultaneous finish [listed randomly]
6:43 John Doe #1/Andy Roth
6:43 John Doe #2/Jay Grobeson
6:43 John Doe #3/Mike "the Serb" Dimkich
6:43 John Doe #4/Mr Trail Safety

[Dan Stumpus joined us for part of the event, but was restrained by
hamstring problems from the Full Measure].

The route followed the following circuit:
Old Mt Wilson Trail out of Sierra Madre-->
Manzanita Ridge-->
Mt Wilson-Phillips-->
Sturtevant-->
Chantry Flats-->
Upper Winter Creek-->
Manzanita Ridge-->
Old Mt Wilson Trail back down to Sierra Madre.

We were there to celebrate the repoening of the Forest. Chantry
remains closed and will probably be more closed than open in the
months to come due to construction, weather, and the inscrutable
motives of the Sierra Madre Police Dept.

Enough of that!

This no aid/fee/whining/bullshit run was a Record Setting Unsupported
Benefit for Little Tommy Krull in Dalla…

Badwater: Final Prelude to Baldy Peaks 50k

Tue, 30 Jul 2002 09:24:12 -0700

Badwater: Final Prelude to Baldy Peaks 50k

To all the Badwater Finishers out there...congratulations!

What you now need is a cool, relaxing taper run to get the kinks out.
And we've got that for you--in spades.

And for those of you who didn't do Badwater, it's good for you too!


Compare the Baldy Experience®™ to the Badwater Experience

50k vs 122/135 miles!
More Trails...Less asphalt!
Sanguine Big-horns smoking cigarettes vs circling buzzards!
A cool 85 degrees vs 123 degrees!
No need to push a shopping cart or pull a rickshaw!
Aid Stations!
12Hr cutoff vs 60Hr cutoff!


Baldy Peaks 50k inspires finishers to say "Damn! I'll never do *that*
race again". And yet they come back, some say like gerbils to
cocaine, others like swallows to Capistrano.

Go ahead, dare to be Special!

Don't Fear The Päcer

The following item was part of a recent Trail Workshop recently held on Mt Wilson-Phillips here in Satanic SoCal. The garroulous keener know as Ray Manzrek was channeled in order to provide background noise. "Betty Davis Eyes" provided by Kim Carnes.

The featured vocalist was Barney, washed up and recently rehabbed ex-child star. He was accompanied by the Gary Coleman Sackbutt Chorus, with ocarina solo by Richard Clayderman. Mr Barney took center stage at the Kylie Minogue Dinner Theater Amphitheatre at the Mr T Cyclonic Experience. Sponge Bob watched from the wings. A smouldering midget pile of PallMall 100s testified to the strain that the Purple One had been under.

Don't Fear The Päcer
(with insincere apologies to the Blue Oyster Cult)


All our splits have come
Here but now they're gone,
Barking Ducks don't fear the pacer
Nor do the wind, the sun and the rain,
We can run where they are
Come on baby, don't fear the pacer
Baby take my hand, don't fear the pacer
Bab…