Thursday, June 29, 2000

I'll Dance With My Reefer

A Pretentious Fat Koach, er, Man regales the unwary with details on stretching....

I'll Dance With My Reefer

A few minutes ago I took off my shoes,
And balanced against my refrigerator.
The calf raises I commenced to start,
I'll do it again later.

I did 45 slow raises with each leg.
I weigh 270 lbs today, [sans clothes].
I fronted my bulk against cool white,
The door against my nose.

As I slid against the enamel finish,
My "he-boobies" a-squeaking,
I was glad I was facing front-to-back,
Or it would have been butt-hairs I'd been tweaking.

I'm glad I can share this with all of you,
I know you follow my gist,
Because each and every one of you,
Are my friends upon the List.

Saturday, June 03, 2000

Koach's Eulogy for Frosty

Today's a Day Without Mirth,
In Kanine Happiness, there is a dearth,
An uncritical audience exceeds its worth,
For Frosty's left me, here on Earth.

His favorite words were: "Let's Go Running",
Even though he knew I was just funning,
In small circles 'round [it's "Littleton-ing"],
While by the swings, I'd be sunning.

Frosty's in Heaven and getting started,
Running laps with the dear departed,
I'll remember him as I shuffle broken-hearted,
While at Badwater -- shopping-kart'd.