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Showing posts from September, 1999

Mr Trail Safety's Kare-Bear Ultras

In response to rising concern about the Safety Factor In Ultras®™,
Mr Trail Safety is happy to announce the creation of Kare-Bear Ultras.

Is this Evolution or Kreationism? Ponder that warm fuzzy thought while we happily spool thru the following features:

THE RACE COURSES:

* HO-Scaled 50k, 50Mile, 100k and 100-mile courses.
This HO scale is not what tourists go to Bangkok or Vegas for,
but we'll make adjustments *just* for you. Because you are *special*

THE COURSES WILL ALL BE:

* Gently Rolling
* Carpeted in PGA Spec-Compliant Turf
* Tree Shaded by Genuine Virgin Old Growth Brazilian Mahogany
* Moonlit as Necessary
* Marked with Glow Sticks and Really Kute Animated Animated Trolls that
grunt and point.

THE AID STATIONS WILL STOCK:

* Oversize Milkshakes in vanilla only
* Yummy Mommy-safe Power Pudding
* Tip-proof 80oz Sippie-Kups
* NoFat Irradiated Devilled Eggs
* Free-Range Not-too-Spicy KimChee
* Reclining Ergonomic Wide-Butt Lay-Zee-Boy Doubble-Wide Recliners
* Keepsake gingham pillows to nappy…

Wasatch 98: Nostalgia, or Brain Death???

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Hey, there's only 9 hrs difference between Brandon and me. And he was profoundly grateful. He'd paced me at Leadville in '97--25 miles of hilarious discourse on poisonous mushrooms, Copper Cyn, lizards, and then some ultra what-all. I was running so he wouldn't stall out from the granny-gear workout.
For all of you lucky guys and gals doing Wasatch this weekend. This is when it was easier. Sort of. Or maybe brain-death masquerading as nostalgia, which ain't what it used to be.


Looking For Kitty: Free-Range Organic Wasatch Bandwidth
We were all Looking For Kitty. This Kitty, and we the fortunate few. Over the course of time, space and electrolytic conversion; private ambitions were molded like sticky Powerbars into public objects. Sometimes art is not pretty.

I joined the Limbo Line with 250+ other supplicants. By race end, there were 14 Crimson Cheetahs, sub-24 Hour Gods all. And then there were the rest.

With my 28:14 finish, all I got were whiffs of Kitty farts. That …