Trail Runner: The Big Movie

A long time back, a nameless person suggested:

To make trail running really popular, it needs to be on tv. Or the subject of a box office smash. Then you'll have all sorts of folks out on the trail.

So, to humor the's TRAIL-RUNNER: THE MOVIE!

*See gelatinous Hollywood club-rats act out some of your favorite trail-running scenes, and lip-sync lame dialog at low elevation!

*See Hollywood actresses with suspiciously large breasts fumble for their water-bottles and flashlights in the day-for-night shots!

*Hear the hit ballad "Your Love Is Like a Powerbar" as sung by Celine Dion, Britney Spears, Puff Daddy and the Teletubbies!

*Look for the 96-can Limited Edition Pepsi Cans of your favorite TRAIL-RUNNER stars in the BurgerSwamps near You!

*Watch and wait as MILLIONS OF AMERICANS just like you decide that they would rather eat a pine cone and bark at the moon instead of running a step.

*Gloat at your inevitable Darwinian superiority.

See, you really can have it all.

bone regards, Mr Trail Safety


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