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My First 50K Buckle (Part XXII)

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Doppeldonger 50/50: My First 50K Buckle (Part XXII)The gun went off. I was charging up Boner Cyn, arms churning and butt-cheeks flapping. Pretty soon the race was down to double digits.

At the first aid station (Chorizo Flats, 4.3mi, 1:20) I wrestled a lawnchair away from a very large woman in polyester tights and a "Lion King" sweatshirt. Her skinny wispy-bearded boyfriend "Nigel" who was wearing a Klingon Starfleet Academy jumpsuit was getting agitated, but fuck him! I was the ultra-stud gunning for my first buckle, OK?

I changed my shoes and re-vaselined my face. Now I was ready. The last foot-long chili-dog was history. My loins were girded. I was the Inner Warrior.

Here are some notes I made during the race, with my splits:

Chorizo Flats, 4.3mi, (1:20)

Wanker Hollow Pass 9.5mi

Mother's Lament (12.8mi)

Highway 69 Underpass (14.6mi)

Wheezer Creek (17.2 mi)

Brown-Eye Summit (20.1)

Bongwater Crossing (23.7)

Hellmouth K-Mart Parking-lot A/S (26.0003 mi) this is a popular …