So, tired of those cute lists that people make? Thought you were. Too bad, here's another.
SIX AND ONE-HALF REASONS TO BE AN ULTRARUNNER GUY
6. You can piss while you run.
5. You can piss while you walk.
4. You can make pretty patterns while settling the trail dust.
3. If you should find yourself standing and taking a leak, you can hold yr love-gun with one hand, and swill from your bottle with the other.
2. When you're done, you can scratch your ass with the other hand.
1. You can use the same hand that nursed your johnson to troll through the aid-station offerings, and nobody will ever know. Or vice versa.
1/2. After you are all through with any of the previous, and there is still a large hill ahead of you, you can still rifle your sinuses and dislodge those troublesome adobe trail-nuggets.
yrs ever devotedly,
mr trail safety