Mr Trail Safety Speaks!

A nameless truthseeker once wrote: Shouldn't there also be some correlation with acute injuries other than sprains, if the "sweets connection" hypothesis is true? Falls, etc.? EDITED STATISTICAL MASS Wake up! Let's call this statistical dredging what it is: JUNK SCIENCE. I don't know about the rest of the List, [or at least the parts of the List that still have Critical Brain Mass left], but this is meaningless! However, using this seductive analytical model, we can now describe definite links between the following Categories: Men => Hard-Ons Women => Menstrual Cramps Night => Darkness Nipple Chafe => Bloody T-shirts Lets also include links between the remaining categories as well: Ultras => Fatigue Trail Dirt => Brown Socks PowerBars => Funny Little Animals Letters to "Penthouse" => Reality and so on. The point is, ladies and gentlemen; that any sort of linkage can

Howdy! all you Happy UltraKultists and Wallet-sized Poster Children... Highline 50 is coming up fast and furious in your face like the Great One-Eyed Desert Lounge Lizard that it is! As some of you doubtlessly realize, Yrs Truly, Mr Trail Safety is going to be Large and In Charge at Mile 44. For some, this will feel like Mile .44. The decimal point is meaningless. In which case, all of your Libertarian beliefs will have been thoroughly audited to your own satisfaction. Or, you could you be like "Tiny girls, Dancing for Gold..." Me, I'll be John Tesh-like; sitting at a tiny toy piano, banging out "Music Box Dancer" or other greats from the Richard Clayderman ouevre. Well, you can't make an omelette with out breaking an ouevre. More on that later. It is entirely likely that one of the following items will be present: ***Kim Chee ***Chewing Tobacco ***Squeezie Cheez ***30-wt motor oil ***Kessler's Whiskey ***Dog Biscuits ***E-Z Insertable Serrano Chilis ***

Egregious and desperate measures commonplace here at the Hellmouth 100 Hellmouth 100-Mile Endurance Fun Run and Dog Jog For the Third Straight Year, since 1998 of the Last Century, the Hellmouth 100 is here for our benefit alone. But U-2-Can-Join-The-Hellmouth-100 Family. At the hip [NTB], if necessary. Here it is! The race starts at 12:00pm sharp, Aug Sept 19 2000 from the fabulous BoehnerDome Mojado County Fairgrounds, 10001 E Milspec Thruway, Hellmouth CA EXPLOITATIVE INTRODUCTION Picking your first 100 is a big decision. You will find out many things. For instance: You might discover that legal representation before, during and after the event may be necessary. But let's not dwell on that right yet. Many races are touted as a good "first time". So are the sisters of a lot of really scary guys. The humididty of Vermont, the poison oak at Western, the potentials for building a great rock collection at Wasatch, the nose-shattering aridity at Leadville,