Mr Trail Safety Speaks!

In response to rising concern about the Safety Factor In Ultras®™, Mr Trail Safety is happy to announce the creation of Kare-Bear Ultras. Is this Evolution or Kreationism? Ponder that warm fuzzy thought while we happily spool thru the following features: THE RACE COURSES: * HO-Scaled 50k, 50Mile, 100k and 100-mile courses. This HO scale is not what tourists go to Bangkok or Vegas for, but we'll make adjustments *just* for you. Because you are *special* THE COURSES WILL ALL BE: * Gently Rolling * Carpeted in PGA Spec-Compliant Turf * Tree Shaded by Genuine Virgin Old Growth Brazilian Mahogany * Moonlit as Necessary * Marked with Glow Sticks and Really Kute Animated Animated Trolls that grunt and point. THE AID STATIONS WILL STOCK: * Oversize Milkshakes in vanilla only * Yummy Mommy-safe Power Pudding * Tip-proof 80oz Sippie-Kups * NoFat Irradiated Devilled Eggs * Free-Range Not-too-Spicy KimChee * Reclining Ergonomic Wide-Butt Lay-Zee-Boy Doubble-Wide Recliners * Keepsake ging

I, the Apprentice. Wasatch 100, 1998 Finish Line , somewhere outside of Heber City UT Hey, there's only 9 hrs difference between Brandon and me. And he was profoundly grateful. He'd paced me at Leadville in '97--25 miles of hilarious discourse on poisonous mushrooms, Copper Cyn, lizards, and then some ultra what-all. I was running so he wouldn't stall out from the granny-gear workout. For all of you lucky guys and gals doing Wasatch this weekend. This is when it was easier. Sort of. Or maybe brain-death masquerading as nostalgia, which ain't what it used to be. Looking For Kitty: Free-Range Organic Wasatch Bandwidth We were all Looking For Kitty. This Kitty, and we the fortunate few. Over the course of time, space and electrolytic conversion; private ambitions were molded like sticky Powerbars into public objects. Sometimes art is not pretty. I joined the Limbo Line with 250+ other supplicants. By race end, there were 14 Crimson Cheetahs, sub-